Ancientsnow's New Writeupshttp://everything2.com/?node=New%20Writeups%20Atom%20Feed&foruser=Ancientsnow2018-08-06T00:31:01ZThree lies about the sky (poetry)http://everything2.com/user/Ancientsnow/writeups/Three+lies+about+the+skyAncientsnowhttp://everything2.com/user/Ancientsnow2018-08-06T00:31:01Z2018-08-06T00:31:01Z<p>I.</p>
<p><a href="/title/Happiness+is+difficult+to+come+by+when+one+is+constantly+followed+by+Frisbees">find happiness</a> in small things (he said); in a beautiful sunset</p>
<p>in the heartwrenching blue of summer</p>
<p>in short-sightedness, in selective amnesia</p>
<p> </p>
<p>II.</p>
<p>we are below the greatest screen of deceit</p>
<p>(in space there is no sky)</p>
<p>under, <a href="/title/And+Mother+burst+forth%252C+green+and+beautiful">the plants do not get watered</a></p>
<p>a house sitting still without you in it</p>
<p>(almost waiting)</p>
<p>this <a href="/title/brute">brute</a> that refuses to forget</p>
<p>attempting to resurrect you with magical thinking</p>
<p>(today, i cooked your favorite)</p>
<p>(today, i took your book <a href="/title/with+me">with me</a>)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>come night and i will chain myself again</p>
<p>while the flowers rot in the vase</p>
<p> </p>
<p>III.</p>
<p>the sky is not infinite, from this <a href="/title/grave">grave</a></p>
<p>sunrise does not wash away any of these sins</p>
<p>nor do i need to witness one more instance of it</p>
<p>(if i can help it)<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…January 15, 2012 (dream)http://everything2.com/user/Ancientsnow/writeups/January+15%252C+2012Ancientsnowhttp://everything2.com/user/Ancientsnow2017-06-24T14:06:42Z2017-06-24T14:06:42Z<p>I had two different dreams last night and they were both horrible for different reasons.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>First:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I was at a party and I was feeling unsafe. This was an <a href="/title/omen">omen</a>. My friend's father has a friend and he is rich and powerful and nauseating. He buys me, and I have to go to bed with him. He takes me to his house through <a href="/title/something%2527s+at+the+window%252C+licking+our+reflection%252C+don%2527t+stop">a road filled with obstacles and horrible weather</a>. We go to bed and though I do not remember them, I know horrible things happened. I know he had something he threatened me with. I know he had a weapon. I wake up and the feeling was that it was very late and I've missed everything, and nobody knew where I was and I had this sickening feeling of urgency that I did not know where to place. His son walks into the room, <a href="/title/I+have+a+Shaymus+and+you+don%2527t.">an innocent eleven-year old</a>, and says "<a href="/title/I+offer+a+toast+to+endings%252C+and+to+forgetting">Hey, you are new!</a>" and I feel the need to be nice to him. He<!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…sweetest are the things undelivered (poetry)http://everything2.com/user/Ancientsnow/writeups/sweetest+are+the+things+undeliveredAncientsnowhttp://everything2.com/user/Ancientsnow2016-08-08T16:24:28Z2016-08-08T16:24:28Z<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<a href="/title/Rachel+in+the+morning">i had a blind girl</a><br>
<a href="/title/Rachel+in+the+morning">i had a blind girl isabella</a><br>
she would appear every month unstable<br>
like a power outage or an unattended cold<br>
<br>
i had a blind girl <a href="/title/Seas+of+the+Moon">isabella</a><br>
and i did not know her name<br>
she would come and draw me<br>
<a href="/title/fresh+dark+wet+ink">first with her hands</a><br>
then on her mind<br>
with her hands as well, but with temperature<br>
and all her breath and weight over me<br>
but she would not let me touch her<br>
only she would touch her<br>
this was our blind deal isabella<br>
<a href="/title/back+when+our+blood+was+still+warm">this was our deal</a><br>
<br>
she would appear every month unstable<br>
<a href="/title/Mare+Tranquillitatis">she would elongate those even fingers on this even skin</a><br>
i would memorize her scars like rivers on<br>
a faulty old map<br>
and she would narrate to me blindly<br>
what i did to her<br>
be it near the curve of her breasts<br>
or on her wrists locked…on the beach, after those midnight beasts came and went, I chose the sea (poetry)http://everything2.com/user/Ancientsnow/writeups/on+the+beach%252C+after+those+midnight+beasts+came+and+went%252C+I+chose+the+seaAncientsnowhttp://everything2.com/user/Ancientsnow2016-08-08T16:24:04Z2016-08-08T16:24:04Z<p>when they come, I am always expecting
them<br>not because of <a href="/title/intuition">intuition</a> (my
imagination has run dry)<br>it's just that I call on them<br><a href="/title/this+is+a+please+this+is+a+please">please
come</a><br>and with faithfulness I have never
expected in my life<br>they do</p>
<p> </p>
<p>they love me, but we are mismatched:<br>their skin is so prickly that as soon
as they touch me I bleed<br><a href="/title/Because+I%2527ve+never+been+able+to+make+anything+beautiful">not
that I've ever cared</a><br>I have never known a sweeter embrace</p>
<p> </p>
<p>this beach has no beginning<br>and I am my own <a href="/title/parasite">parasite</a><br>I have been here for so long that<br>(with words that I know by heart) <br><!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…November 10, 2008 (poetry)http://everything2.com/user/Ancientsnow/writeups/November+10%252C+2008Ancientsnowhttp://everything2.com/user/Ancientsnow2016-08-08T16:23:45Z2016-08-08T16:23:45Z<p>so he tells me his dad<br />
is a royal asshole right<br />
he cheats on Mom with some skank<br />
who never made it past the ninth grade<br />
some blonde bitch who isn't even attractive<br />
you know the type<br />
orange skin and smiles spilling all over the place<br />
<a href="/title/unicorns+galloping+to+the+moon+on+rainbow-covered+bridges+paved+with+babies%2527+dreams">like vomit on a windshield</a></p>
<p>anyways he fucks her once or twice a week<br />
and then comes back home reeking of her<br />
<a href="/title/Indigenous+peoples+of+downtown+Wal-Mart">all smeared with her cheap lightblue eyeshadow</a><br />
on his tragicdrunk greasy skin<br />
and pretends to have been working<br />
he's always yelling beginning-of-the-month-too-busy<br />
end-of-the-month-so-busy<br />
like they don't fucking know</p>
<p>so he says to me<br />
he'll kill him<br />
and her if he feels like it<br />
someday, soon, tomorrow, tonight<br /><!-- close unclosed tag --></p>…love letter (poetry)http://everything2.com/user/Ancientsnow/writeups/love+letterAncientsnowhttp://everything2.com/user/Ancientsnow2016-08-08T16:23:23Z2016-08-08T16:23:23Z<p>Dear beloved,</p>
<p> </p>
<a href="/title/Spring+birds">Spring birds</a> sing outside and my heart bursts in <a href="/title/bloom">bloom</a>,<br>
as it bursts with this black tar <a href="/title/disease">disease</a>, as I am sick of rummaging through your old letters<br>
trying to find where in your words is the difference between her and I,<br>
where is it that you love her more and me, less.<br>
<p> </p>
You, dearest, are forever the owner of my <a href="/title/undying+devotion">undying devotion</a>,<br>
of this <a href="/title/undying+obsession">undying obsession</a>,<br>
you are forever the owner of all the <a href="/title/take+madness+and+decipher+it+without+my+help">madness-filled pages</a> I have written<br>
of all these hateful words<br>
you are the owner of this <a href="/title/Terpsichore">phantom</a> that keeps appearing to me<br>
whispering the words of desire you gave her<br>
that I have never even imagined I could be a recipient of.<br>
<p> </p>
My love, I wish to look at your <a href="/title/beautiful">beautiful</a> eyes every day until I <a href="/title/cease">cease</a>,<br>
even if you don't look back<br>
even if we fuck and<br>
you close your eyes thinking of making love to her for one last time<br>
even if you…