i thought about you dying last night
though i had no reason to, it felt
inevitable
how you would break the news to me
how inadequately i would try to
console
messages of pain, a slow withering away
becoming a shadow of yourself
to fade
and in that moment
as the rise and fall
of my aching heart shook my soul
though you weren't even dead
it felt cold, hollow, dreadful
as if you were haunting me
taunting me
could i have ever had you in the first place?
ghosts of memories long past
pieces to a puzzle
but when i fit the last piece in
the face isn't mine
are you the cold shiver in my heart,
as much as you are the fire that fuels my soul?
there are worries and doubts
they seep through the mind
become trapped in its crevasses
sometimes you just have to wring your mind out
right?
i have no reason to think you are dying
i have no reason to feel this way
but it haunts all the same
i hope you understand the way i feel
i hope that this is really a dream
i hope you'll be home soon
time ticks down
down
down
down.
morbid thoughts to mask my fears
drip
drip
drip.
they seep through the mind
down
down
down.
receptors transmit the worst of lies
drip
drip
drip.
and my heart is forever scarred
fuck okay
i'm sorry it's just
i love you
please don't go