I have no idea what is going on. After there was no one at my poetry reading at the theatre in New York City, I went to Times Square and there are very few people there and they are all walking far apart and no one will come near me. Some Obama-era police stopped me on account of the fluids I have leaking out of me.
Now, to be honest with you because you are honest with me, I will tell you that more that six gallons of bodily fluids flow out of me on a daily basis. Some comes out of my nose, my mouth, my penis, my completely torn up ass, and other places too numerous to name. I assured them this is perfectly normal for a ninety-year-old man, to have so much fluid flowing from his ass to the street and across floors daily. Gallons of it. Filthy black, brown, and blood-soaked fluids of a fluidic nature (meaning as a fluid flows) just right out of me and onto the street. The kids love it. They really do. I love letting them play in it.
One of the things I usually do while reading what the theatre guy and his militia friends call "Nazy Poetry" because it is about the greatness of Germany in the 1930s and 1940s before France just ravished the German countryside like Hessians, is that I grab women's asses. I just run up to them, as is my right under the Eighteenth Amendment, because I gotta have dat azz! Gotta godamned have dat azz. You know what I'm saying here. Dat azz. Just run up. Get dat azz. Worth it. Really is.
Now, when I was in New York City before running away from people in these white suits with helmets like they were facing a "biohazard" (an absurd liberal myth - there is NO SUCH THING as a biohazard, everything is safe, people. every goddamned thing man makes is perfectly safe for riding on, eating, or drinking, or shoving into places. And that is the truth, the goddamned truth. TRUST. Where is the trust?
So, unable to get dat azz because of people being obsessed with keeping a distance between them and me and all the excessive and disgusting fluids just pouring out of my body onto the streets and cars and everywhere, I decided to return to Utica and see if I can get a show there. Usually I can pack at least 500 people into my shows, lock the doors, and spray the absolute fuck out of them with "biohazardous chemicals" (whatever that is- as I said, absurd liberal myth).
If anyone knows why people are staying away from me more than usual, please call me at 781-4357. Thanks. I'm seriously trying to get dat azz.
My fortune today said, "It would be delightful to spend time in mixed company today."