“Have you ever been fired or let go for any reason?”
“Well, I didn’t want to put it on the résumé because I wasn’t there for all that long, but I used to work at WeWork and – ”
“I’m so sorry. How did you manage to escape?”
“Well, I got fired. I mean I was fired. I mean I fired myself.”
“You quit? But I thought they weren’t letting anyone quit.”
“No,
no. I mean fired as in projectiles. I constructed a slingshot out of
office supplies and threw myself to freedom over the wall.”
“Well,
if we hire you, we will expect you to make a full inventory of the
office supplies you’re taking before you put them to such a use. It’s
chaos around here when we run out of paper clips.”
“I am assuming that such a thing will not be necessary. Unless it is? How often does that come up?”
“Less
often these days. We’ve managed to make it clear to our customers that
asking to see a manager is not a guarantee of receiving special
treatment. Unfortunately that leaves the most stubborn and stupid to
keep coming back, and one in particular whose efforts to run more than twelve items through the express lane are unending. Talking of which, how is your Customer Service face?”
“Grrrrrrrr.”
“
Excellent. We’ll have the paperwork ready for you to sign in a week’s time.”