I'm writing this while waiting for my clothes to dry and hoping that I won't have to go in to work in slightly damp clothes because it's cold outside and I might just freeze to death. Procrastination has always been one of my strengths and weaknesses, good at getting me to do things that have real deadlines and bad because if I can put something off forever I often do.

I over filled my new cars gas tank and it was on full for so long that I was worried that I'd managed to mess up whatever detects the level of gas in the tank. I didn't but when it finally went down I wasn't relieved so much as pissed off at my own catastrophizing. I don't typically worry so I feel like the whole experience gave me a bit more empathy for people with anxiety. All that said I'm bothered because I feel like I'm doing stupid stuff because for the first time in a while things are going good for me and a part of me wants to mess it up. I've seen enough self destructive behavior to believe that it's a very real phenomena but I don't know if that's what I'm doing or if this is just me catastrophizing stupid mistake into deliberate self sabotage.