I was laying in bed-- laying? lying? lieing? I'll go with laying. I was laying in bed with my face sort of wedged between two pillows. For some reason I woke up and thought to myself that this arrangement was quite comfortable. It was so comfortable that I wondered (in my not-so straight-thinking slumber) whether I could make it even more comfortable, and possibly achieve a near-perfect level of comfort to drift back to sleep into like a falling feather. So I fiddled about a bit, tugged on the pillows, re-angled my body. It was less comfortable. I adjusted even more, and it was less comfortable still. So I tried to restore that original position (which was quite comfortable), and was only able to arrive at a mocking shadow of my earlier state, taunting me with its soul-crushing comparative imperfection. So, being much less comfortable than before, I fell into a fitful sleep and had bad dreams of madmen hunting me with carving knives.

In auditing news:

The Custodian -- on page 37 out of 40 .... This is getting heavy, folks.
wertperch -- on page 6 out of 10 -- progress!!
gnarl -- on page 3 out of 6 -- better than nothing!!