As with all games of Mao the world over, I would be excommunicated for telling you the rules of mao. However, there is no rule saying I can't tell you the reprimands for the individual cards/plays and allow you to figure the rule out on your own. Muahahaha! I have found a loop hole!

The basic premise is that of crazy eights, wherein each card played must match the suit or number of the card on the discard pile. Two decks are used in playing and every player starts with five cards. As far as rules go, the Green Bay version has many more set rules than any other mao game I have come across, and is my favorite version. It may also be noted that in the Green Bay version, only certified dealers may deal, not whomever wins. To become certified you must first win a game a mao, then pass an extensive dealer's examination in which the dealer of the game you won quizzes you on all the rules. More than one wrong answer will result in failing the test.

To the best of my ability I have included all the penalties that may occurr. If not otherwise specified, assume that each penalty requires the offender to draw one card. At the end, I will include some rules that are impossible to suggest.

"The game is Mao. Dealing is commencing."

Talking while dealing is in progress.
Touching cards before the dealer.
Asking a question.

"Dealing has ended. Play will commence clockwise. The suit is _____."

The Cards

Unless otherwise specified, assume the same number in different suits maintain the same rules. The name of the card must also be declared as it is being played.

2-Failure to say, that's the deuce, homey!"
Failure to say, "That's the duece of Spades, homey!"
Failure to declare a new suit.
3-Failure to play a another card.
4-Failure to play another card.
5-Failure to play card with both hands.
6-No Rule.
7-Failure to compliment someone.
Sucking up to the dealer.
8-Failure to quote a holy book.
9-Failure to insult someone.
Offending the dealer.
10-Failure to observe change in rotation.
Jack-Failure to say, "Have a nice day."
(To person next in rotation) Failure to draw to cards.
Queen-Failure to say, "That's the lady on the corner."
(To person next in rotation) Failure to ask, "What corner?"
Failure to declare a corner
(To question asker) Asking a question.
King-Failure to say, "It's good to be da king!"(ala History of the World Part I)
Ace-Failure to shout, "YAWP!" (think Dead Poet's Society)


Two sixes are played in a row-Failure to say, "It's on the root."
3 sixes are played in a row-Failure to say, "It's the sign."
Failure to make the sign.(Players who have not made the sign are given cards repeatedly until they make the sign of the cross)
Two Jacks are played in a row-Failure to say, "Have a very, very nice day."
(To next person)Failure to draw four cards.
*Note: As the number of Jacks in a row continues to grow, so do the number of "very's," and the number of cards drawn by the person next in rotation goes up by two to power of the number of "very's" said. Example: "Have a very, very, very nice day."= 8 cards drawn from the pile.
Two Aces are played in a row-Failure to say, "Barbaric Yawp."
Three Aces are played in a row-Failure to say, "O Captain, my Captain."(4 Aces resets back to "Yawp")

Point of Oder

A point of order is essentially a time out. Questions may be asked if they are not involving the game, and everyone is more or less free to chill out for awhile. They are most often called to settle a dispute a play or to allow time for a bathroom/food/orgy break. Only the dealer can call a P of O, but others can imply they would like one or take a card for asking for one and most dealers are nice enough to comply.


For any Spade(except 2)-Declaring the card's name
For any Heart-Playing with the incorrect hand(use your left one)
Person has one card left-Failure to say, "I'm riding one horse."
If the person before you lays down a queen, and you have the king of the same suit, instead of taking the "what corner" question foul, you can opt to place the king down after they say, "That's the lady on the corner," and reply with, "And that's her pimp!"
-Saying mao while playing(this is a five-ten card foul and is held even during P of Os')
-Being a dumbass
It may be noted that in mao the dealer=god and can handle situations that annoy them or amuse them by giving or taking away cards.

Well now that I am going to burn in hell, I hope you all enjoy the game. I may or may not be missing one or two rules, and if they come up the next time I play I will be sure to add them. I ask you though, please, if you start playing this version of mao, take it upon yourself to learn all the rules and then make your friends learn it the proper way, never tell them about this node. My only motivation for writing it in the first place was my desire to share it so other aren't missing out.

Mitchevious, if you speak of this to others in Green Bay or memorize the list, you will wake up one morning and find your balls in your cereal. Kapishe:oP?

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