Here is a complete episode guide to the hit BBC sitcom, Bottom.
It should be noted that most episode titles can be concatenated to 'Bottom' to make a little phrase, eg. "Bottom Smells" or "Bottom Accident".
Serries One
Originally aired in the UK in the fall of 1991, and repeatedly on the BBC and UK Gold ever since.
Episode one: Smells
Richie and Eddie come back from a failed night out trying to pull females. Richie gets all depressed as he thinks he'll always be a virgin, so Eddie suggests that he puts an advert in a lonely hearts column. While reading through other people's ads, Richie comes across an advert about pheromone spray, that will apparently draw more females to them than they would know what to do with.
The next day Richie and Eddie go to the pub covered in this pheremone to try their luck with the ladies.
This episode sees the introduction of pub landlord, Dick Head (played by Lee Cornes), although we don't learn his name until later.
Episode two: Gas
After narrowly avoiding being caught with an illegal gas pipe leeching next door's supply, Richie and Eddie break in to Mr. Rottweiler's house next door to try and disconnect it before the gas man comes in the morning.
This episode guest stars Brian Glover (AKA former wrestler Leon Arrya) as Mr. Rottweiler.
Episode three: Contest
With his Dole cut off due to having too many savings, (eleven pounds eighty to be exact) Eddie decides to wager the lot on the amazing Miss China of the Miss World contest, standing to win ten thousand pounds.
Episode four: Apocalypse
When Richie finds out his Aunt has died he decides to celebrate his £600 inheritance by going to the fun fair. After blinding a carnie and a fortune teller tells him he will die in three days, Richie has a very boring few days under the sofa, whilst Eddie has some high jinx with a Grim Reaper costume.
Episode five: Bottom's Up
Eddie and Richie are enjoying a Sunday morning of doing what they do every morning - being slobs when the landlord comes in and asks them to look after his shop while he goes to his mother's funeral. Upon taking charge of the shop, they go on the roof to watch cricket for the afternoon.
(there is a small inconsistency here in that Richie's aunt owned the flat in the previous episode)
Episode six: Accident
It's Richie's birthday, but the only people who have come to his party are Eddie's mates, Spudgun (played by Steven O'Donnell) and Dave Hedgehog. (also played Mike in The Young Ones, played by Christopher Ryan) Richie hreaks his leg playing Sardines and comes back from hospital to find his living room full have people who have supposedly come to his party.
Mark Williams (of Harry Potter, Red Dwarf and The Fast Show fame) guest stars as one of the party guests.
Season Two
Originally aired in the UK in the fall of 1992 and regularly repeated on BBC 2 and UK Gold since.
Episode One: digger
Richie and Eddie join a dating agency, and record advertising videos for prospective partners. Richie says on his that he is the Earl of Kidderminster and finds himself using his humble Hammersmith flat to receive the Lady Natasha of Moldavia, complete with his 'butler', Jives. (Eddie in a suit)
Episode two: Burglary
Eddie and Richie catch a burglar in the flat, tie him up and call the police. They have other ideas of how to proceed, however, when they find how much he has taken from other people but first they have to find a way to hide the trussed-up burglar from the policeman who is now on his way.
Episode three: Culture
The TV's been taken away because the rent on it hasn't been paid and so our heroes are forced to find other means of entertainment and end up spending a hilarious night playing chess... with prawns instead of pawns and all manner of other silly substitutes, and Richie doesn't even know the rules, and is wearing his coat inside out as a substitute for a smoking jacket.
Episode four: Parade
Richie and Eddie are in the pub arguing with a Falklands War veteran over their respective roles in the war. (Richie is claiming to have been there, when he wasn't) The veteran falls asleep so they bet his wooden leg on a horse race based on a deliberately faulty tip they received from pub landlord, Dick Head.
Episode five: Holy
Christmas day is dawning and Santa Claus (Richie in a costume) comes to the flat. After several hours spent unwrapping their presents (the ingredients for the Christmas Dinner, Richie and Eddie invite their mates Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog round for dinner. When someone leaves a mysterious baby on the doorstep, Richie believes himself to be the new Mary, while the others fall into the roles of the Wise Men.
Series Three
Originally aired at the beginning of 1995, and as with the other series repeated regularly since. As there was a big break between this and the other two series, there are some changes to the flat scenery, eg. the bathroom and Eddie's bedroom, which are both new, and some alterations to the living room scenery.
Episode one: Hole
The lads are riding on a ferris wheel when everything goes dark and the funfair closes down. Reading his newspaper, Eddie discovers that the ferris wheel is going to be demolished by explosion first thing in the morning, and they have just hours to get off the wheel before they get blown to oblivion. Perhaps divine intervention will lend a hand.
Episode two: Terror
When a couple of young trick or treaters pay the flat a visit, Richie and Eddie decide to go trick or treating themselves dressed as a Devil and a banana.. and a cattle prod. On their travels they meet Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog and decide to hold a Satanic party, and eat those brussels sprouts from last Christmas.
Episode three: Break
Eddie and Richie are going on holiday to Doncaster and are busily planning their holiday and what to pack. The trip is however doomed by an alleged naked picture of Desmon Lynam stuck to the bottom of the fridge.
Episode four: Dough
After a long spell in his locked in his bedroom, Richie, Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog learn that he has devised an ingenious forgery machine that produces pornographic fake money. Excited at putting their new 'wealth' to the test, the gents head down to the pub. A local master forger hears of their activities and have to enter the pub quiz to make the five thousand pounds needed to avoid having their skulls crushed.
Episode five: Finger
A local Welsh cricketer that Richie has a particular disliking for is getting married, and he and Eddie decide to steal the groom's car and go on his honeymoon, with Richie posing as the groom and Eddie as the bride, complete with reverse breasts.
Episode six: Carnival
During the routine looting during the Hammersmith carnival, Richie and Eddie steal a TV camera and decide to make money by filming each other, but when they come to review the film they find a video of UK Prime Minister (at the time of filming) John Major in a compromising situation and decide that blackmail is the order of the day.
Sources: My DVD collection, countless hours watching BBC2 and UK Gold.