This was inspired by an few ideas being kicked around on #E. It is a few short snippets of what E2 would be like if it were merged with an RPG or two. It is humour. It is noding about noding. It is not serious.

Retroactive Dedication

for Hermetic, who made me laugh
..which is not an easy thing to do.


The ultra-Halogen lights of the club reflected off the Plasti-Wood dancefloor, splintering into millions of little slices of violet and green luminescence. A tall Shaaman, Hermetic, moved through the tight crowd, the dancers parting like water as he passed through them and made his way to on of the small tables in the dark corner of the club. Mr. Johnson was there waiting for him as arranged, leaning back on his chair, framed by two Orks who had their hands suspiciously in their pockets.

Hermetic sat his drink down on the stained cork tabletop, turned the remaining chair around and sat himself down on it, resting his forarms on the ladderback. He never broke his gaze on Johnson.

They sat like that in a sullen silence, except for the droning 'thud' of Devious Dee's "Chrome Continuum" flowing off the dancefloor. Seconds passed, though they seemed like minutes.

"Aren't you going to ask me why I wanted to see you?" inquired the Johnson. "Or should we go dance?" he quipped.

Hermetic took a long sip of his drink, "Well, since YOU asked ME here, it seems fair I should be told why," he said, still not breaking his gaze.

"Or maybe we should dance," he added, eyebrow raised slightly.

The Johnsons' bodyguards glanced quizzically at each other, unused to having a 'contractor' talk this way to their boss.

"Well," Johnson began, "My employer--"

"Nate," Hermetic Said, cutting him off in mid sentence.

"So you are not as uninformed as you make it seem?"

"I already know what you want, I just wanted to make certain you knew it." Hermetic said, as he thoughtfuly considered on of the more colourful stains on the table.

He Continued, "Nate has been trying to establish Everything3 as the Matrix's primary data repository for some time, but he can't do it until EveryDevel figures out how to overcome the 300 query/second barrier that MySQL has."

"Go on," prodded Johnson.

"However, it seems NovaTech *has* figured it out. But since NovaTech is well known for how well it keeps it's secrets, EveryDevel hasn't been able to Buy, License or Steal the technology from them, especially since it's Not GPL'ed. In order for Everything3 to become the dominant force in the information world, Nate needs this technology."

He took another sip of his drink, "Did I leave anything out?"

"One thing." Johnson Smiled, "EveryDevel hasn't gained extraterritorial status as a 5-A Megacorp Yet, and so they can't wage a public offensive in order to get this technology -- Zurich-Orbital would never permit it. So we need discretion and... subtlety."

"And in return, you pay me the price I quoted?"

"Mr. Hermetic, if you can pull this off, I'll triple it," Johnson replied with glee.

"Acceptable," said Hermetic, rising from his chair.

"Oh, and one more thing." Hermetic added, as he raised to his full height and drained the last of his drink. He thoughtfully examined the empty glass and suddenly, but in a smooth motion, threw it against the club wall. Shards of crystal caught the lights and cast an eerie starfield over his face.

"I don't do 'subtlety', Nate."

Dungeons & Dragons

"I don't like this," quivered Xunke, "I don't like any of this at all. Too dark, too dark."

AlexZander quickly whipped around and glared at the little man with a flame of contempt, "Look, you're a Dwarf, and Dwarfs like dungeons. Right. For the love of Pete, your people build this place!"

"HEY!" the little man shouted back, "for the last time, I'm not a DWARF, I'm a Halfling! No beard, see? No beard! There IS a difference you... you... you great tall oak tree!"

"Ooooh", AlexZander chided in mock fear, "The DWARF insulted me. I think I may just die of mortification right here and now!" He placed his palm on Xunke's hatted head and pushed him over onto the dusty ground.


At this, the Halfling pulled himself up and kicked the Human in the shins as hard as he could, which was pretty hard considering his height.

"You little rat!" screamed AlexZander. "Now Listen, I don't like you, and you don't like me. But you're the only one who knows how to read these nodes, and so I need your help, okay?"

"Fine," Xunke shot back, "delighted to hear you have so much love for me."

AlexZander pointed his finger at the short man like a sword "Listen, you..." and was about to give him what-for, but relented. "Where in the name of Naria are we?"

"This", whispered the Halfling, "Is the Under-Gel. These nodes are the ancient ones written before the Epoch. Written by the Old Ones."

He glanced around suspiciously.

"The Ancient M-Noders."

At this word, the Halflings' torch suddenly flickered as a low, menacing growl flowed up from beyond the mist of the tunnel ahead of them. Xunke Swallowed hard. AlexZander readied his claymore, "so then that must be the EDB, am I right?"

"I'm afraid that you are," Xunke replied, retrieving his Warhammer from his napsack, "and that means.. we're lunch."