I haven't called Heather since last December, after she moved to North Carolina. It occurred to me to call her two weeks ago....but with the last two month's events, I don't think contacting her would be such a good idea. I know she's safe...she's in North Carolina
. But of course, I KNOW she'd have anthrax
. Yeah, I'm the one living in a county in Florida
with two suspected cases of the shit, but she's the one who contracted it. Just like Mad Cow
....maybe when things calm down a bit, I'll get in touch. Like when even I'm not a little anxious about opening my mailbox.
I've been in pretty decent touch with all my loved ones, quite a few people are coming to stay during the holidays, that is if they have not already been down to visit. Ahhh...that's nice. People seeking ME out for a change. But then again, there's still the anthrax. "Oh, I'm so glad you decided to come visit....I wanna make your stay as comfortable as possible...can I get you a drink? Something to eat? A little anthrax?" Sheesh.
On my plate are a coupla things, the most bizarre being the return of a very old, very good friend. I'm busy with applications for college, running a liquor store, getting enrolled for a coupla classes in the Spring here, and generally just hooking up with old haunts and old faces. I had a dream one night about a month ago, that I met my first love and his sister in a bar. We talked about, well...dream things, and how much had changed. Then all of these people came between us, carrying him away, and I spent the rest of the night hopping from dream to dream looking for him.
I woke up at 8:14 on the dot...completely uncharacteristic of me, and sat down to write one of the most cracked out letters I have ever written: "I just wanted to let you know I have never forgotten about you....I just want to make sure you're safe and happy...that your life has been good to you....that you're happy with your wife....and if it were at all possible to see you, just for a bit, I think everything in the world would suddenly make sense."
He called me the next day, and after a bit of phone tag, we decided to meet the following Monday, September 10th. I was scared, I was scared, I was scared! I didn't think any of the old feelings would be there, hoped they wouldn't be, that's for sure.....I guess I just really wanted some closure, what with my cleaning up the rest of my life bit by bit. I knew I would never have a chance to seek closure from Rob....but Scott??? Just maybe it had been long enough. "That, and he's married." I thought. Ha. Guess again.
More later.....I gotta go sling cases of Scotch whiskey around for a few hours.