I found it hard, hard to find what it was that I was looking for. I had it on the tip of my
tongue, but it slipped away. So instead of looking for something, I have been looking for what I was looking for. No sense in that, so I have decided to look for a
focus, a center mass. My girlfriend thinks it should be her, but I can't think that way about her. Maybe I don't
love her, maybe I'm
selfish and ungreatful for what I have. But I need to focus before making that kind of decision... and a better
climate. Winter is no time to make that kind of decision either.
Cocooned in my home save for a weekly
jaunt to
flight school or the occasional group
jam at a friend's house makes for some
stir-crazed thoughts.It doesn't help to have late eighties
hair bands blaring from the computer next to mine... stupid co-workers. I'm looking for a new
job to take me away from it all long enough to find my focus and understand what it is that I am truely looking for, but then that is one of those
futile statements people say when they lose track of themselves.
While I am looking for myself, I think I wanna find out
why water is so heavy too. It just never made sense to me.