Ahem.

A LAN Party, as defined by myself, is any gathering of two or more people (usually more) and their respective computers wonderful, extraordinary, powerful, incredible, exceptional notebooks and desktops, for the sole purpose of playing computer games. No, not Freecell. No, not Solitaire. Yes, definitely Starcraft, and Warcraft, and Unreal Tournament, and Quake, and Age Of Empires, and Age Of Mythology, and Rise Of Nations, and Halo... First-person shooter and real-time strategy games.

What you must have at a homemade LAN party:

  • One mouse 'n' keyboard set per computer.
  • One set of headphones/mics per computer.
  • One cat5 cable, or similar data communication cable, per computer.
  • One hub for all the computers.
  • Powerade, or similar energy/sports drink. (Yeah, yeah, Red Bull will do.)
  • TEH CHIPEZ!!!1! I cannot stress enough the importance of chips at a LAN party. They keep you awake so well.
  • Money for pizza.
  • On that note: the ability to stay awake for upwards of sixteen hours. Yes. Sixteen hours.
  • Underarm antiperspirant deodorant. Trust me.
  • Pillow. Also trust me. It's not a good idea to be sleeping on the floor without a pillow.
  • Starcraft. Vital. I learned that lesson at the first LAN party I hosted.
  • Other FPS and RTS games. NO! NOT RPGS!!! GOD NO!
  • A DVD or three. In case you get severely bored with the games. (In which case, shame on you!!!)
  • Luck.

What would be a very good idea to bring, but isn't necessarily obligatory:

  • People. Who should ideally bring their own computers.

What you should avoid bringing at all costs:

  • Booze. Yes. It seriously affects your ability to play, and hence you start losing games badly. I've never fallen victim to this one, but I've heard stories.
  • Drugs. Same reason. Playing a good RTS is like driving a car. You need good hearing and peripheral vision just in case your army's getting attacked from the left, right and centre.
  • D&D. Too addictive. You'll never get a game of Starcraft in.
  • Music Music is OK, but I've struck it out because some people tend not to like it. I like hearing a little Logic Bomb while I'm LAN partying. (Ooh yeah. Go that psytrance.)

these things can be a LOT OF FUN if one makes an effort. it can also mean MAJOR BRAGGING RIGHTS if you happen to rule teh awesum at starcraft. and perhaps age of empires. but enough of that.

If you're a computer geek, it is pretty much mandatory to at least attend one of these beauties. Do it. Seriously. Like I said, it is a lot of fun. I know because I've been to 2: one of Deejah's and one of mine. And yes, I actually won some games.