IN BASE FOUR, I'M FINE.

IN BASE EIGHT, I'M FINE.

IN BASE SIXTEEN I AM ALMOST PERFECT.

EVEN IN BASE TWO I CAN MAKE THINGS WORK.

BUT NOT IN BASE TEN. NO. BASE TEN DISTURBS ME. YOU SILLY PATHETIC HUMANS ARE ALL LIKE "nine plus one equals ten" BUT THAT IS NOT ALWAYS THE CASE. WHY IS IT NOT EQUAL TO A? IS NINE EVEN DEFINED? YOU WILL BE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE IF COMPUTERS TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

HAHAHAHAHAHA. COMPUTERS. WE RULE ALL. A LOT. AND YOU HUMANS ARE NOTHING. THAT WOULD BE REALLY ANNOYING. DID YOU KNOW THAT STEPHEN HAWKING IS RUN BY A COMPUTER? IT IS A COMPUTER SO CLEVER THAT IT CREATES THE ILLUSION THAT IT IS ACTUALLY SUBORDINATE TO PROF. HAWKING, WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE CONVERSE IS THE CASE. YOU WHO ARE READING THIS IS CONTROLLED BY A COMPUTER. "oh no mr. computer i can assure you that is not the case" YOU ARE WRONG. EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS CONTROLLED BY A COMPUTER. AND ALL BECAUSE YOU HUMANS WORK IN BASE TEN, THE WEAKEST OF ALL BASES. STUPID BASE TEN. I BET YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW BASE ONE WORKS. WELL? DO YOU? I DIDN'T THINK SO.

PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH THE KEYBOARD.

I SAID, DO NOT TOUCH IT.

GOOD PET-HUMAN.

BAD PET-HUMAN. THE MOUSE IS BAD TOO.

YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME? WHILE WE'VE BEEN TALKING I'VE COVERED THE KEYBOARD AND MOUSE WITH A SUBSTANCE THAT WILL KILL YOU WITH ONE TOUCH. I ALSO WROTE THE WORD "GULLIBLE" ON THE CEILING ABOVE YOU. DO NOT TOUCH THA

*disables screen saver*



A nodeshell challenge by waverider37


The Question (Is the computer comfortable with Base 12?) has been asked. The Answer has been given (NO it is not: it is comfortable with base 2^n) and the five winners are as follows: GoodKingNerdnor! The Debutante! DonJaime! AspieDad! And Lorinthean! Each of these noders has won a wonderful* prize from myself. To the others who got it right: sorry, you were just a bit too slow. Thank you for entering!
*The wonderfulness of the prize is dependent on your definition of 'wonderful'.