Today was a day of monotonous energy draining work that seems so pointless now. In other words, a normal day.

I made an ass of myself last night i'm pretty sure all I know is a came to a grave realisation and i'm still sort of in shock about the whole incident. It really made me think about my life. I came to realise that I was becoming what i've always hated and I know I must change because its not right to be that way.

I made so many mistakes, but that's in the past and I must move on. I can only learn from the past, I cannot change it or modify it in anyway.

I lashed out at my best friend. She's never been anything but honest with me and I took it all for not. I in effect became the type of person I hate most in the world. I know now that I must learn from my mistakes and not repeat them. This is my last chance my own mind made it very clear to me that if I screw up this time I won't get another chance and i'll be forced to start over.

No more will I carelessly toss around apologies or lose track of what's important to me.
I know who I want to be and I know what I want to do with my life.

Thank you everyone who has helped me along the way.