Dolly was right.

But she forgot to mention holidays. Annual leave. Vacation entitlement. Time off in lieu. Parole. Call it what you will. It's essential to maintaining some semblance of sanity.

Office tip of the day, no.1:

Always take your holiday allowance, kids - no-one will take it for you, and if you don't you'll work more and holiday less.
And if you don't get enough holiday, you could always scam an extra day here and there. I wouldn't ever do it, mind. But kids, don't pull sickies, it's just too passé.

The only problem with holidays is the paranoia that will accompany my return to the office a week monday. The feeling that somehow, someone will have dug up something; a mistake, a piece of neglected work; or something completely bizarre that I can't possibly think of, which is why they'll catch me out with it.

It's not my fault. This is what happens when you've been sacked. In your notice period. For being flippant. Summarily dismissed. For flippancy1. Marched out of the building, to boot. It was hard to keep a straight face at the time, though, because it wasn't the biggest office in the world. I felt like I was in a reworking of the "can I walk you home / to your car?" gag where the home / car is about five feet away.

Office tip of the day number 2:

Don't say silly things in emails. That way lies endless trouble.
As for today, I've made my checklist, and I even have most of the stuff on the checklist. Have tickets, passport, pills, and the compulsory holiday exclusive minidisc compilation is compiling itself.

Morocco, here i come. Please don't be too hot for me. I burn at night.

1. They may have had a point. And it might be true to say I'm being flippant again in my description of events. Other people have accused me of the same. I have no idea why.