My favorite tuna salad is not mayo-based at all. It's canned tuna, vinaigrette dressing, grated carrots, and chopped flat-leafed parsely, served with tomato wedges and grapefruit sections with or without a bed of watercress. Coarsely ground pepper on top is good, as is Salad Supreme, a cheese-sesame seed condiment from Mc Cormack.

This fact is less interesting than the way I arrived at it. At one point, I lost my appetite for food, and while otherwise fairly lively, though slightly feverish (I've Got Problems), I couldn't eat more than a little at a time. Consequently, I read an old nutrition book that stated that a cup of tuna, 1 grated carrot, 4 cups of tomato juice, 1 cup grapefruit juice, 10 tablespoons of brewer's yeast, some skimmed milk, 2 shrimp, and a few other odds and ends (somehow calves' liver got in there) would yield a full day's compliment of vitamins and minerals. This gave me the idea of making up nutrient-dense trays of food and leaving them where I'd pass them often. Every so often, I'd grab a forkful or handful of whatever, and eat it fast, and at the end of the day, I'd have eaten it all. I included lots of parsley on things (parsley is the vitamin powerhouse of all greens), and watercress for the fiber factor.

It worked, in that I'm still here. The above recipe is simply the cream of the crop, and I've even served it to guests with rave reviews. Now if I could only work in the shrimps and the liver...