I think I found the missing piece in my suicidal fantasies, namely the music that should be played in a loop while things go on. I still don't have the bathtub where I would lay in warm water, lit only by lights, high on benzos to cut my wrists and fall asleep.
The piece in question is Nine Inch Nails' Corona Radiata, from their album The Slip. The album can be legally downloaded at the band's website.
More information about the song here. Not my site, I just googled it up.