It was like any other musty relic at a musty garage sale in the musty garage, but something about it grabbed his attention. With a flash of his eye he read the cover - displaying just the title, printed so proudly that it left no room for the author's name: "Get Rich Quick Schemes." As a long-time adherent to his faith, consumerism, he had often longed for a book like this. Things weren't going the way they were supposed to, and he needed guidance.
Seeing this ancient self-help tome priced at a dollar made him self-conscious: he would have to purchase it nonchalantly. Act natural. He could not allow his excitement to draw attention to the true worth of his serendipitous find. The wrinkly, kind woman running the bazaar gave him a wise, knowing smile at the nearby checkout, and he handed her his tender. He was still fighting to contain himself, so Washington had to return the smile for him.
He walked out into the sun and opened the book with a squint. On page one it read:
"Scheme #1: Write a book of get-rich-quick schemes. Sucker."
The rest of the book was blank.