A song by Tom Lehrer. The tune is the best part of his work- in this case a perfectly cheery mock-march. The topic is the life of the Boy Scout in the modern (i.e. 1953) era. In Lehrer's warped world, this includes drinking, graffiti, smoking, gambling, weed, pimping, and implied heavy petting. Here are the words in full:

Be prepared, that's the Boy Scout's marching song.
Be prepared, as through life you march along.
Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well,
Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell.

Be prepared to hide that pack of cigarettes
Don't make book if you cannot cover bets
Keep those reefers hidden where you're sure
That they will not be found
And be careful not to smoke them
When the scoutmaster's around
For he only will insist that they be shared
Be prepared.

Be prepared, that's the Boy Scouts' solemn creed
Be prepared, and be clean in word and deed
Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice
Unless you get a good percentage of her price.

Be prepared, and be careful not to do
Your good deeds when there's no one watching you
If you're looking for adventure of a new and different kind
And you come across a Girl Scout who is similarly inclined
Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared; Be prepared!

© Tom Lehrer; Appears on Songs by Tom Lehrer (1953). CST Approved. Lyrics appear with his written permission.