Well, I haven't noded in a few days. Why? That's simple:
It's nearly impossible to node from a mental hospital!
Now that I've got your attention...
This is the first time I've been able to get my thoughts together enough to write anything and I will hopefully get back to fixing my w/u's and noding new informative write ups, but first I need to get some thoughts out and play a bit of catch-up with school work.
Some of you may know that I cut myself on thursday. Well, I thought I was ok and eventually did go to bed and on Friday morning, as I slept, my mother went through my purse (again). She found the blade that I used. She woke me up and told me she's taking me to the mental hospital to get up right then and to get dressed. I had very little time to get ready and dressed while crying. I didn't grab any clothes...I did grab my backpack and toss my psychology book, a folder of school papers, a pen, a highlighter, a Chicken Soup for the Soul book, and my diskman with half a dozen cds.
My mom told me I have to find a new place to live. I don't know where to even start to look.
Being in a lock down unit of a hospital totally sucked. The food is gross there. (Although for hospital standards it's not really that bad). Nothing was accomplished. We just sit around and watch tv and pace back and forth. I didn't even have clean close to change into until sunday. I felt totally disgusting. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was feeling unloved. No one really cares and I had to face that. Suddenly I was alone, without my computer, without E2, without AIM, just the craziness that has become me. Once I was Jennelle. I'm not now. I'm bluebird. We're bluebird.
/me is so scared.....