Memorial Day is a day off of work, if you are working. If you are not, as I am not, it is just a reminder of how pitiful you are.

I can't even walk to 7-11 in my pajamas in peace at 2 p.m. today. There are joggers and barbeque-ers and kite flyers and bicycle riders and dog walkers, all enjoying their day off to the fullest ... while I grumble along sleepily smoking my cigarette.

Part of my wants to wander down to the beach and find a bonfire to hang out at, but then I feel guilty, like I don't deserve to enjoy the working world's day off.

Keep your day job. Memorial Day sucks otherwise.