What lies below is the
transcript of an
email i sent to many of my
friends detailing my
Gender Identity Disorder. I have posted it here for
reference. I was going to post this in the
coming out section, but it is full.
Hi everyone, there is something I need to tell you.
Basically I have a mental disorder. I say disorder because that is what it is called. The fact I don’t see it as an illness makes no difference. It is called ‘Gender Identity Disorder’. Basically I feel confused about which gender I am meant to be. This has many associated myths that I will dispel if I can. Firstly, I don’t want to become a woman; I am merely confused about my gender identity. Secondly, this has nothing to do with my sexuality; if I want to be female, it doesn’t mean I am homosexual. Many transgender people are heterosexual, 95% of them.
My transgenderism manifests its self in cross-dressing. This does not mean I wear women’s clothes for sexual pleasure or as a fetish, which is the common misconception. Crossdresser is the broad term for anyone who wears the opposite sex’s clothes without stating a motive. Essentially, I wear whatever I feel comfortable in whether it is trousers or a skirt. I have been living a secret life for a long time and I can’t do it any more.
I have known about this in myself since I was 5 years old and it is a mind trip to try and work out when you are young. Since then I have been trying to work out what is ‘wrong’ with me. I am not fully transgendered. I sometimes enjoy being a boy, other times not. If I was totally transgendered I would wish to be female all the time. However, my mind changes without provocation. On occasion I wish to be female, other times not.
Until recently I have kept it a secret as many men and women do, however events have pushed me to come to a conclusion. Last year I was under a huge amount of stress. I would just sit on my floor and cry for hours. Doing homework in such a state was a challenge so my grades were slipping which pushed my depression further. It was at this stage that I told my mum about my gender disorder. It increases in intensity when I am stressed…. I think.
So I told my mum and I am getting therapy for all sorts and I am on antidepressants for other stuff as well... not just the gender stuff. The medication has cheered me up and helped me think about stuff better. I have come to some conclusions I would like to share.
I want to be able to wear what I like when I feel like it. It is only clothes for fucks sake. When I am feeling female I will wear a dress/skirt/whatever I want. When I am feeling male I will wear trousers or whatever else. If I don’t care I will wear what ever I want.
Something as simple as fabric on our bodies to hide our nakedness shouldn’t be categorized into sexes. Gender is on a continuum, it is not the same as sex. Someone can be of one sex, but another gender.
Sex is between the legs, gender is between the ears
Gender is a state of mind. Sex is a biological reality
So I identify as both genders
Get over it
I am planning to wear what I like
Thought u all ought to know
(This is me coming out by the way...)
Any questions ask me!!
oh and dont be supprised if u see me in a dress, it is still me
- Alice x