Why the United States rules (idea)

Why does America rule?

• Because we spend 50% of our federal budget on the military, so if anyone that disagrees with us, we can simply blow their head off.
• Because our treasured free speech rights are consistently trampled on by the DMCA and the MPAA and obscenity laws
• Because our treasured right to peaceably assemble is consistently trampled on by police who surround protesters and then order them to disperse
• Because our treasured right to presumption of innocence and due process of law is constently trampled on by drug forfeiture laws
• Because our treasured right to run our own lives is consistently trampled on by drug laws, sex laws, and other means of protecting citizens from themselves
• Because our treasured right to bear arms has been loosely interpreted into the right to blow anyone's head off at whim
• Because our treasured democracy is so strongly supported financially (yeah, that's it, sure...) by the large companies of our country
• Because our treasured, hard-won 40 hour work week has been completely abandoned
• Because over 2 million Americans are in prison, a higher rate than any other country in the world
• Because if crime, bad schools, drugs, and apathy don't manage to catch all of them, a scant few of the 20% of the children who are poor in this country will be able to become millionaires

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But before I get too cynical, though, I must also remember that the United States is also the home of:

• Apple Computer
• Perhaps one of the best postal systems in the world (Fast, cheap, and underrated)
• The Columbia Gorge
• Thanksgiving
• Gary Larson
• San Francisco, New York, Chicago, Seattle, Silicon Valley, Portland, OR, and Omaha
• LSD (popularization thereof)
• They Might be Giants

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I live in one crazy, fucked up, beautiful, awesome, fun, horrible, wonderful, and above all amazing country.