I believe that tax dollar
s should go to pay for people to do laundry
. I'm not a huge believer in things like social programs
, but people should be encouraged to do laundry on a regular basis. Nothing irritates me more than paying $1.50 per load to do laundry, so I plan my trips home
around when I think my laundry is going to run out. If I run out of something like socks or underwear, I go to the store and buy some more. I would rather spend the money on a pair of underwear I can wear many times then throw my precious quarter
s down a hole.
And it just makes sense, dammit. Who has to pay to do their laundry? The poor people! The people who can't afford to drop a couple hun on a washer and dryer of their own, and people who are living temporarily, single people, college students, etc. Wouldn't you feel good to know that the homeless bum on the street corner can be a CLEAN homeless bum on the street corner? That he can pop in to the corner laundromat and wash his belongings free of charge thanks to John Q. Taxpayer? (As an afterthought, we should probably provide paper hospital-like gowns at laundromats so that such people don't have to do laundry naked because, honestly, who really wants to see that?)
Now, you might argue, this policy would penalize those who own a washer and dryer, would penalize hard working Americans* who clawed their way to the top and cannot benefit from free laundry. But I say to you, you own a house, a car, are in a fairly high tax bracket...I hate to break it to you, but your tax dollars are being funneled into things that are a lot less productive and helpful to the population than keeping people's clothes clean. Come on, would you rather pay for food stamps that really go to support somebody's crack habit or pay for somebody's laundry? After all, how can the lower levels of society rise to lower middle class without clean clothes?
It's time to do something about the unwashed masses. Support the Society for Free Laundry (currently accepting donations).
*sorry for the Ameri-centricity of this node, but the sentence sounds better when this is specific. Feel free to insert the nationality of your choice