Whhhhhhhere do I begin.
Last Saturday night, I went out for a
drink with an old friend. She
has a (deserved) reputation as a mankiller - in fact, the first thing
we talked about was the fact that she was going out with two guys at
once. So I suppose I really shouldn't have done something stupid like
the following:
- Grieve about how my girlfriend is too busy to see me
- Go on and on about how wonderful my girlfriend is
- Leave my mobile phone on the table while I go to take a slash
Yes,
you guessed it, boys and girls! My friend promptly phoned my girlfriend
and left an apparently abusive message on her answerphone. The first I
hear about this is the next morning, when I go into work and find my
girlfriend yelling at me.
"I wake up this morning
and find this abusive voice message! I mean, if you want your friends
to do something like that...forget it! You're not
worth it!"
During the course of the day I find out
more about this message (by now it's fairly obvious who it was left
by), but I also find out more about how she doesn't want to see me
anymore.
"It's just...you're a really nice guy, and I enjoy hanging
out with you, but...it's all the pressure, you know?"
Pressure. Right, so going out with your friends every night and having no time for me, is that what that means?
By
the end of the day, I am feeling
like shit, but I've managed to calm her down and make up. Insofar as
she is no longer mad at me. She receives the mix CD I made for her. We
part with a hug. That's the last I see of her, I think.
But
oho, no! One of my friends from work invites me out bowling to help me
get over it. On the way to the alleys, we stop to fill up with petrol
at a station near her house - and I see her getting cash out from the
hole in the wall. With a guy I know from work. He spots me, smiles
sheepishly, says hi, stares at the floor, then quickly leaves with her.
Although
I suppose a large amount of the overall-bad-feeling I have is just standard break-up fare, I can't help but seeth
at the double standards, what feels like a betrayal. Every time I try
to organise a night out with her (or even just tag along with her and
her friends), I am denied. And when one, let's face it, minor incident
occurs, then suddenly the pressure is too much, she can't date any
more, she's going to university in a fortnight, sorry. But it's fine to
go out on what looks a hell of a lot like a date the same night?
I'll just get back to attempting to purge everything that reminds me of her. This is not going to spoil my first few weeks at university.