I thought I would add a node from the point of view of a naturally
skinny person - that person being me.
I'm 5'9 and I weigh 115 pounds. When I forget to eat my
weight drops to 110 or lower.
I
wire the world, thin, jagged, like
electricity. Like a
radio antenna. My feet stick out like boats on the bottom of a
ship mast. My head bobs like a
buoy on an anchor chain. My ribs could be played like an uneven
xylophone. My neck is long. My breasts are close to nonexistent. My hipbones could cause
mass destruction when I jut them forward. I often joke about
killing people with them.
And I must say, honey, that growing up with a
physique like this is no easier than growing up
overweight.
There is, for example, the matter of
bra size. This world celebrates
big boobs.
Breast implants, anyone? I never entered a
Victoria's Secret as a teenager, not so much because I didn't like
lingerie, but because
my breasts did not exist to them. The nicest bras don't come in 32A. In fact, I wore a 'nearly A' for years. How's that for
self-esteem-inducing?
There is the notion of being 'womanly'. Many claim that the
model physique is 'ugly' and 'disgusting' when compared to what women are 'supposed to look like'. That would be, I assume, large hips, large
breasts, tapering legs,
rosy cheeks, and no
bones in sight. Well, I thought. So much for being a
woman. In fact, my
boyish figure contributed somewhat to a
gender identity crisis I went through in my late teens (in addition to not fitting any girly
stereotypes or relating to women at all). I couldn't deal with
romance,
sex,
relationships, or anything else involving
love, because I just couldn't handle the idea of being 'the woman'.
There is the societal
bias towards
losing weight. I work at a
bookstore, and you can imagine the amount of men and women buying diet books that come my way. Occasionally I'll get one who asks for advice. Never having read a diet book, I say something like, "
I'm sorry, I can't really say."
The
reaction is always one of
disdain. "Oh, I guess you don't have to worry about dieting, do you?"
"Actually," I say, honestly, "I have trouble keeping weight on."
"Oh, you POOR thing." Sardonic. No
sympathy, or even a touch of kindness.
Can you imagine the reaction if I said something similarly sarcastic to a person trying to lose weight? It would be considered incredibly rude.
Taboo, even. Why the
double standard?
When I started paying attention to
fashion, I was affirmed for the first time in my life. Here was a group of women who were not only accepted for their thinness, but celebrated for it. I discovered that I can wear
clothes well. I saw symbols of
sexy on figures similar to mine. I came across brand
advertisements, men and women
on display, models without curves being
the center of attention.
Fashion gave me physical confidence. People who
blame fashion models for
eating disorders are looking for a
scapegoat, because the figure type is arbitrary - the real problem lies within.