I've been thinking a lot about this, the central dichotomy, of American politics in the beginning of the 21st century. My conclusions were a surprise even to myself.

First, I am very liberal...

But I am going to become a Republican.

I don't agree with most of their positions, yet logicallly the conservative party in American politics can best protect my right to privacy, as it currently exists. I am, after all, a white male. Who better do the Republicans represent than white males? That I disagree with them on abortion, gun control, taxes, the death penalty, drug decriminalization, Cuba, logging, Israel, immigration, and school vouchers should hardly matter. Comparing those issues to my privacy is a no-brainer.

Leave me alone...No, no. Leave me the fuck alone. Privacy wins in any comparison by at least a curse word. I WILL BE LEFT ALONE.

It's my litmus test. "Uh yes sir, as a 'Congressman/President/any elected official,' will I ever hear about or from you?" I ask. "No." for an answer gets my vote.

The government hasn't managed to bother me yet, and I'd like it stay that way; therefore the conservative element of government should continue to hold back change as rapidly as possible. The Republicans hold my standard. I just have to bear the weight and follow them.