Today I pulled out the planner where I'd written my assignment list, full of lab reports that need to be written and topographic maps that need to be sketched, and then I put it away again without opening it. All fall semester I had faithfully completed each task I wrote down in my planner, and then put a little checkmark next to each one, and when spring semester opened I copied down each assignment, next to its due date, from every syllabus I'd received. But I haven't made any little checkmarks for two weeks now, because I haven't been going to class and I haven't been doing my homework, and I haven't been leaving my apartment except once, four days ago, when I left to get something to eat because the box of Froot Loops that had kept me going for ten days had finally gone empty. Today I got out from under the blankets where I've spent the last two weeks and sat down at my desk, promising myself that I would get some work done so I could start going back to class. I pulled out my planner to see what needed to be done, but I found that I couldn't stand the idea of facing two weeks' worth of assignments with no little checkmarks next to them, so I put away my planner without opening it, got back under the blankets and went to sleep.

Tomorrow I'll probably withdraw from the university and pick up a job application from the Chipotle on Jaggard Avenue, or else I'll jump out the window. On second thought, I'll probably do neither of these things, because they both would require courage. I'll probably turn in some half-assed work by the weekend and struggle through the rest of the semester to finish with a 2.5 or so.