This morning I went to Sydney's Taronga Zoo for a guided walk with the Sisters (er, brothers) of the Order of Perpetual Indulgence. It was me and a hell of a lot of out-of-shape queens who really need back waxes before the upcoming Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade. Not to mention about six large men in full nun costume.

Mother of Pearl and Sister Mary-Go-Round read poetry on the different animals (like A.A. Milne with the koala) while the zoo guide told us factual stuff. We saw the indiginous southern hairy-nosed wombat, the more aggressive of which have been known to "chew through shins." A mutant guinea pig, basically. We also stopped by various bears, giraffes, elephants, the platypus, and birds, like the Macaw, the Sun Conure and Rainbow Lorikeet parrots. Et cetera.

We got to pet the Shingleback Lizard, the Rednecked Wallaby, and the Echidna, each of which has a transmitter that takes its temperature every 30 seconds. The communists use this information for nefarious purposes and I can prove it!!

Sister Mary-Go-Round wore black Converse sneakers without socks.

After the zoo I bought William Goldman's new book then went home and showered off zoo scents.