There has to be a nice place between
living in isolation.. out of sadness/fear and other consuming things.. with the mind set of
"If I am alone, no
one can hurt me.. if they think they really know me.. they are wrong because all I show is a mask" (which everyone can see through anyway)..
and
"I trust everyone .. that is til they hurt me.. but even then they didn't do it on purpose and might change" .. I tend to do both at once.. I'm
talented.. "
I am extreme opposites".. or something unique and
quirky.. fuck that..
i just want to help others.. im stupidly and naively idealistic..
with a dash of realism.. i want to leave myself open for those who may need someone.. a friend.. or something.. but i just keep getting burned..
I don't like the world we live in.. it has its beautiful moments.. but usually its a
cruel place.. where people need to become
calloused to survive.. i
refuse to become calloused.. so i guess part of
my pain is self-inflicted.. if i'm going to experience the world.. im going to do it 100% even if it
kills me.. no
protective hardness.. heh.. even if it kills me.. the way things are going.. i assume one of the many knives in my back will finally kill
me dead.