Dream Log: May 26, 2000 (idea)

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• finding four new silver hairs

• All the sidewalk booths had signs saying "Antique shop in basement," and I decided to go look at one. Stone steps led me to a tiny room with a half dozen boring vases on a shelf - mostly this was just someone's downstairs, with a recliner and a couch and a TV. I wanted to leave quickly before they found me intruding, but I couldn't find the staircase again. I had to crawl into the fireplace and hope the chimney turned into stairs, which it did.

• A print ad for a "massage device" in which the copy described all the ways no one would ever use this thing: for the neck, the lumbar region, etc. At the end it said Plus, it feels pretty good in your crotch.

• Leaning out the castle window, looking up up up along the blackened stone, rain thundering down, blue lightning scissoring the sky. Later I ran through that rain and lightning to get away, and to get closer to something.

• Arnold Schwartzenegger's face in black and white, grimacing

• There were only four of them in the group, so when they pretended to be Hanson, they put a big rock behind the drums and told everyone it was Zac.

• Lying on our backs on a gigantic bed. Pale blue ceiling. We were both mostly bored and half-asleep. I don't know what we were watching but it must have been porn because all the commercials were for condoms, lubricant, gatorade. When a commercial for Dannon yogurt came on, we were both briefly confused, until we realized.

  Pete said, "I'd like some of that right now."
  A cumshot?
  "Yogurt."
  He was quiet and I thought he'd gone to sleep but he said "I just can't believe it."
  Yogurt?
  "I can't believe John Denver's dead."