When we got back to the house Pete and I sat in the car for a minute listening to the radio, trying not to laugh. It was cold so we ran to the house.
An intensifying machine. If you were sure you had a good heart you could volunteer to be processed into something stronger, so you could protect her.
Watching myself in the mirror trying to button a shirt that used to fit. We were telling his parents tonight about my pregnancy and I knew he would be no help. Nothing I tried on fit, and I was getting panicky.
I read my old diary which was blocks of painted wood. Confusing, not even I could follow it. I stared at my sweater sleeve and wondered why I had bought it; there were little beads woven into the fabric; dumb.
I asked the jury about my baby and they threw the biggest pearl into the river. I thought it was old-fashioned but was patient with them. Their answer was confusing and contradictory, because the pearl had floated then sunk. They gave me a green ring which I put on. My father was screaming about "don't put it on like THAT!" but I didn't know what he meant. It was beautiful and almost matched my nail polish, which I took as a sign. But it didn't fit, and I took that as a sign too.
This time when I went back in time to my wedding day, I decided to go to the church after all. Usually I just didn't show. It was horrible to see all the people I'd disappointed. I ran through a crowd of whispers and stares - none of them knew me very well, but they knew I was supposed to be the bride, and they knew I was in jeans. I made James come with me and ran out. I don't remember what I said to him but it was very common-sensical and convinced him he'd be better off doing non-love things for a while. I offered my dad - I knew he'd love to go fishing. We raced down the snowy sidewalk to the river and I got tangled in hanging branches, so James won. When we got there he went down to check out the river and I stayed on the bank scooping up spare change. A man pulled up and kept rolling his car up and back. He may have been Kiefer Sutherland but I don't really know who that is. He was creeping me out so I told him to go the hell away. He laughed. I threw dirt on his car and ran.
At the apartment complex there were shallow canals instead of roads. Dusik rode her motorcycle through them, sending up giant waves. The kids shrieked and ran after her. Flo was confused.
A tall gorgeous girl walked past, talking to her sister. "No, you put it in the cabinet by the stove. Remember? When Mama was making another baby?" I asked her what she meant and she said her mother had just finished making another one, three in a row. I knew she didn't mean triplets and I knew it hadn't taken nine months per baby - I had the sense that this woman could make a baby in a few days. "At least one of em's meant for the dumpster."
Sadie being a dumbass again
At Pete's house but I don't know where he was. When I woke up Debbie was there, and offered me legos. I accepted. I apologized for falling asleep every time I came over. Her dog liked the blue pillow I had brought. We talked about Pete, but I don't know what we said.