Deleted everything I wrote previously because it was whiny and annoying. Frustrated with how much I'm spending at work - I wrote down all of the banking transactions from my checking and savings accounts to spot trends and to see the grim horror for myself on paper. Writing it down seems more real. I used to carry cash, then my oldest stole $100 from me and I quit. I want to get back to that. Writing out a menu would help. Taking two meals to work each day instead of one would help. Cutting down on the number of convenience items I buy would help, actually making and eating the food I purchase would also be helpful because then I wouldn't need to buy more to replace what went bad.
I have a cash flow problem. A lot of my bills are clustered together toward the end of the month, rent is due on the first of each month, and I end up in a crunch about this time every four or five weeks due to poor planning on my part. Last month I lost out because I didn't submit an expense report in a timely fashion. This month I paid for the girls to go to the dentist after my ex said he would be responsible for that. I put myself in a position where I was stuck holding the bill and now I'm mad because those two things cost me more than $600. That's money that I could have used as a cushion in my checking account for times like this. I know I'll be okay, but I don't like feeling like this.
Part of the solution is setting some financial goals. Currently I don't have any. Creating some would give me a benchmark, I can be aggressive and this would be good for me. Anything I attempt will be better than the current no plan I have going on now - failing to plan instead of planning to fail. I went a bit overboard what with finally having a job again, that was lazy and irresponsible of me, and I want to act in a way that is mature, industrious, and accountable. I work way too hard to be tossing my money away like this. I'm the grocery store equivalent of the faithful Starbucks customer who laments the fact that they can't afford whatever is is they want while leaving a portion of their earnings at the famous Seattle based company. Won't be easy, but I'm determined. I'm tired of this. It's time to change.
Praying this finds you well,
J