My routine the past few days has been to listen to the
@sullybaseball daily podcast every morning. I like baseball, I love
hearing how Sully describes what happened with hitting and pitching, and I
enjoy having that time to do something for myself that I enjoy. Today
would be the fourth consecutive day that I listened to the podcast, but I
watched a Jamie Oliver TED speech last night, and it got me thinking.
This morning, I found that I still had YouTube open in the Jamie Oliver
tab, and I decided to listen to a woman who was speaking about
adversity.
In a former life I sold shoes to diabetics, some of whom were also
amputees. I learned to talk to these people, to work with them, to
appreciate the things they could do, and to reserve judgement about
their physical bodies because some of them lived lives that I could only
dream about. At the Brewers game on Wednesday, a friend of mine asked
me if I had found out anything new with regards to some of my health
issues. A while back I had some testing done, we discovered that I have
some fairly severe vitamin and mineral deficiencies, and I've been
taking supplements irregularly since a lot of them are hard on my
stomach.
Although E2 has an entry on celiac disease, I want to add my side
of the story to it, because I think it's something that I can share with
others. When I first heard that I had a disease, I pictured a grotesque
inner decay that would gradually manifest itself outwardly. Essentially
I was handed a diagnosis, some medication, and the woman who informed
me that she thought that I had this initially was actually very
reassuring although I didn't see that at the time. After I had an
ovarian cyst that burst, I was sent on to a rheumatologist, and
eventually an oncologist. These people weren't really interested in me,
or my condition. They told me that I was making a very foolish decision
by refusing to take the medication that they prescribed, my oncologist
told me that I could be crippled in two years without these meds, and I
walked out of that hideous appointment clinging not to her words of
doom, but the phrase that I ate better than she did.
I've written about this in the past, but it bears repeating. This
woman with advanced medical degrees had dry skin, lackluster hair, she
was kind, but I would say she was malnourished. Her job is stressful, I
was the patient who went against her medical advice, and I believe that
she was genuinely concerned that in twenty-four months I would be a
mangled twisted version of my former self. Since some of the conditions I
have may attack internal organ systems I had to have testing done to
assess my lungs, heart, and overall eye health. This was done to get a
baseline of where I was at so when I started deteriorating they
could..., do what? There was no game plan for me to prevent further
disintegration of my eyes. When I called in a panic because my third
finger on my right hand was white, no one really took me seriously. I
felt like I was a page of terms that didn't really address who I was as a
person, and there was nothing other than drugs for me to turn to, not
in the hope that I would some day be cured, but that my pain might be
somewhat alleviated by this regimen.
When I was in my twenties, I mentioned to my doctor that my arms and
knees really hurt. She said I had classic tendinitis symptoms, and told
me to take ibuprofen. That didn't really help, and now I know why. I
didn't go back and complain when the pain didn't go away because I
trusted her as a medical doctor to know what was best for me as a
patient. A lot of people have told me that I eat better than most, and
it's an argument in my house because I believe that diet is a critical
part of what makes people healthy as individuals, people point to me as
someone who eats a lot of fresh organic fruits and vegetables, they see
that I quit my full time job because it was too much, and I work a few
hours a week for not very much pay. In the eyes of the modern world, I
probably seem like a failure. I have some native intelligence, people
skills, and I was exceptionally good at selling shoes for the company
that employed me.
Hearing Aimee Mullins talk about language, and how it can be used to
color people's perceptions of themselves really helped me. When someone
suggested I join a celiac forum, I found a chapter in my area, and read
what the leader had posted. I read that she congratulated people who
were newly diagnosed, and I remember thinking to myself, this woman is
nuts, and I don't want to have anything to do with someone who
congratulates people like me. Now I want to write a new post for celiac
disease, and I want to share the idea that you can congratulate people
who have a diagnosis they didn't want to receive, because it is a
blessing to have an answer, and ultimately solutions for things you've
been living with previously.
I didn't see a disease state as beneficial, I doubt that many would.
Today, I can look back, see the changes that I've made, look into my
mirror, and love the person who has forged a new path that led me to the
Jamie Oliver and Aimee Mullins TED talks. Adversity is a part of our
lives. You can choose to wallow in self pity over how difficult your
life is, I've done that in the past, or you can choose to view adversity
as a way to shape your character, and possibly reveal parts of yourself
that you maybe didn't know you had.
Jamie Oliver wants to teach every child how to prepare 10 recession
proof meals. Cooking is a life skill. The ability to go into a kitchen,
assess what is there, and create a nutritious balanced meal really is a
gift. What struck me most when he was talking about his overweight
friends in the community he was visiting was his kindness, empathy, and
compassion coupled with solutions that he presented to people. He didn't
lecture people, he presented the solution, and offered himself as an
agent of change. Obesity is a killer, and it's so uplifting to hear that
there are solutions out there. Simple, cost effective solutions that
bring local people together, where the goal is to educate and embrace
healthier futures.
Previously, I thought that celiac disease meant I had to give things
up. The truth is, I've never liked pizza, I hated french fries, and I'm
still angry with myself when I choose a gluten and dairy free chocolate
chip cookie over any of the better choices in my kitchen. Today my
message to anyone who has been told that ingesting gluten will harm them
is that the only thing I had to give up was the idea that I was giving
things up. Yesterday we went to see my sister who is getting ready to
move. I layered steamed zucchini strips on a plate, added some
asparagus, put cauliflower chunks on top of that, and poured spaghetti
sauce over my creation. This morning I made a smoothie with
strawberries, blueberries, cherries, and a big handful of spinach. Both
of my children drank it, they're going off to school to eat hot lunch
which will be a lot of processed food, regular milk, and neither of them
took a water bottle today so now I'm going to be concerned about their
hydration.
I've learned so much about food, cooking, nutrition, and self love
and self care over these past few years. My body is missing a lot of the
rashes and eczema that used to plague me. Very few people guess my real
age when they meet me, and even people who know me well tell me that my
skin is youthful looking. I have some gray in my hair, it doesn't
bother me because I'm viewing this as a process which takes time. I'm so
much better off than I was, my Twitter following is evidence of that.
The interactions I have with other people, last night I missed most of
an End of Life discussion, that would have terrified me in the past. But
now, I know I will die, I don't fear death, I won't seek it out, but I
won't shy away from it either. I'm not crippled as my oncologist
predicted, my mind is better, I work with children, and I've learned how
to be an effective After School Care employee in a few short months.
Around me, I see life, beauty, joy, possibility, challenges,
opportunity. I've always had the ability to make friends easily, now I'm
more comfortable with admitting that I'm not perfect. I have some
weight to lose. I'm making better choices, but there is much room for
improvement in most aspects of my life. I think it's incredible that the
most significant strides I've made towards financial freedom came after
I quit my job. I'm not mad at myself for spending money unwisely. I can
forgive myself for a lack of understanding because I needed a different
way to think about and use money. Yesterday I put money into the bank. I
pulled some cash out, and I have a plan for how I'm going to spend it
so it doesn't disappear without me knowing where it went.
I want to take Jamie Oliver's idea about the ten recipes for
recession proof cooking, I'm going to work with my girls, and I'm going
to see if we can come up with ten gluten and dairy free meals that they
can prepare when they leave home. My youngest used to be very into
smoothies, and my oldest is already better at making scrambled eggs than
she was. The idea that people can't eat well on a budget is crap. It's a
mentality fostered by fast food, you're too busy to cook food at home,
and groceries are more expensive than eating out. I don't believe that,
and I know that I can teach others how to become better bargain hunters.
At the bank, the branch manager greeted me with a bright smile that
held no warmth. She offered my kids suckers, a woman I know had already
asked discreetly if she could offer my girls a treat, and I smiled at
the obese woman in front of me as I told her that I didn't want my
children to have suckers because I didn't think they would be good for
them. The girls had already pulled a pail of suckers down from the
counter, my children aren't very good at brushing their teeth, and they
can't see that the bank doesn't really care about them, they want young
customers to associate the bank as a place where they can get that feel
good sugar fix. Companies that prey on children upset me, advertizing is
everywhere, I can't protect my children from marketing aimed at
destroying their health and finacial wealth, but I can show them that I
have no problems refusing things that I do not believe are in their best
interests because a lot of people depend on your reluctance to look
like a fanatic nutrition nut instead of buckling under because it's only
a small sucker at the bank.
I'm tired of people saying that their children won't eat a well
balanced diet or get enough exercise, because I believe that this
undermines children's belief in themselves, that they can face adversity
when it comes into their lives. Money and candy do not go together. The
bank wants to sell me and my family financial products, and they want
to encourage children to see it as a place where they are rewarded with
sweets every time they walk through the door. Wouldn't a better approach
have been to ask my children how they were, and to inquire if they had
savings accounts at my bank? They don't, because they have a different
bank, but that woman missed an opportunity to talk my children about
money, and to possibly pull some business away from her competitor down
the street. She wanted to give my kids candy instead of sharing some of
her knowlege. Maybe she thought I didn't look like a very good customer.
I wasn't dressed particularly well, but I drive a luxury car, my home
is valued at over $200,000, and she has no idea what those girls are
capable of earning someday.
I am a fabulous networker. When I believe in a person, product, good,
or service, I let others know about it. I broadcast and amplify brands I
trust and believe in, that branch manager had a small minded goal, to
offer my kids candy instead of talking to me about services she could be
offering. I no longer have my savings account at her bank, I'm going to
pay off my credit card, and leave that bank. She could have talked to
me about service, or my day, I'm not really sure why she chose to treat
me the way that she did, most of her tellers talk to me about products,
and they've been good when there have been issues with my account. My
husband pulled our mortgage away from that bank, she could have talked
to me about that, and I guess my point here is you don't know who you
might be talking to, so why are people like her unable to see a larger
picture?
I don't know, but I don't want to be like that woman. I believe that
children can learn about money without bribery. I think they can make
healthy choices, I've seen them do it. I believe that authors and people
who write are tremendously creative. I believe that everyone is
creative in a manner that is unique to them, and sometimes just
believing that a creative spirit dwells inside of someone is enough for a
bond between me, and them. I read an article about kindness, and what a
beautiful gift that can be to give to another person. Those who are
wealthy see the world as a treasure trove of interesting people, with an
unbelievably diverse pool of talent. I agree with Aimee Mullins when
she says that the only disabled people are those whose spirit has been
broken. I changed after I was handed a disease diagnosis. Today I can
prepare anyone a raw gluten, dairy, nightshade, soy, wheat, shellfish,
corn free meal. I've opened up food for others, and given them new ways
to think about how they spend their food dollars.
Everyone has a story to
tell, and I'd like to close with something I read on Twitter the other
day. I see people as a walking library of sorts, with stored
information, and stories that I have yet to unearth. People are living
manuscripts, and the quote I read sums up how I feel about people who
put others down because they are dreadfully insecure. The tweet said
that there are worse things than burning books, and that is to not read
them at all. Those who shut other people out, or fail to seek out the
good in others are only shorting themselves, and those are the people I
really pity.
Take care, have fun, believe in yourself and others.
With love,
jessica