Now that I've got your attention, let me redirect it to my crummy contest.

A disclaimer: I am not an editor, a god, or a special person of any kind. I didn't even get to ride the short bus to school. What I am is lazy and impatient.

Why this is important to you: I should have been born October 6, 1980. Instead I was born October 31, 1980. Lazy. And perhaps owing to the circumstances of my birth (but more likely to the date itself), I am perversely fascinated by stuff that is, well, perversely fascinating. Graverobbers, headless horsemen, chicks with their heads in bowling bags...let's just say it doesn't take much to impress me, especially this time of year.

So - partly as a birthday present to me, and mostly because we love E2 and want to fill it up with scariness, I put forth the following challenge. However, ToasterLeavings, my right-hand man, is down to bestow blessings on the winners I pick. dem_bones has offered to help judge, and has promised to murder the hell out of anything that sucks ass. ideath and I will also be judging.

The challenge then is to make this database as creepy as possible before 0 o'clock server time, Thursday, November 1, 2001. Node the scariest stories you know, and I will hardlink them here. These can be fabricated, based on personal experience, collected from folklore (with the proper attributions, of course), pre-copyright horror stories, or, if you're interested, factual pieces explicating your favorite urban legends (my favorite is the aforementioned poison Pixie sticks/razorblades-in-apples hoax; I wonder what's going around this year about Anthrax?). Histories of Halloween and related festivities (El Dia de Muerte, Samhain are of interest as well. Oh, and what about those anti-Halloweens some churches hold because Halloween is Satanic? And haunted propaganda houses extolling through graphic example the horrors of abortion and drunk driving? It goes on like this. If you've noded scary stuff in the past, it won't qualify for the contest (unless I get zero entries), but I'll hardlink it anyway for everybody's reading enjoyment.

You get the idea. This is a pretty broad category. All of us are overqualified to participate here. Once you've posted your node, please drop me a /msg. Prizes pending. Void in Antarctica, Canada, and all fifty U.S. states (oh yeah, Europe, the UK. and Asia too), but we're doing it anyway. Also, cut and paste writeups will die.

So far we have:

Not new, and therefore not qualifying, but shiver-worthy anyway:
snuff film by Vice hkpnx
Necronomicon by Cletus the Foetus
Life After the Guillotine? by cryokinetic
tiyanak and manananggal by flyingroc
knifegirls's scary, scary story - the whole damn node - here to inspire and baffle you What would Cthulu do? by Milen
blood drinking by ).stupidfawn.(
Wandering Soul by enth
The Black School by tallman
The Contents of Jeffrey Dahmer's Apartment by jonrc
appendix a by weasello
revenge is a dish best served cold by drumergrrl

scary stories to tell in the dark by moongirl
San Antonio Ghost Tracks by Riptor
Why you shouldn't let people suck on your neck when you're feeling ill by Skinwalker
Princess Doe by MizerieRose
Cenobites by tallman

Old School Shivers:
Poe's The Man of the Crowd, noded by Noung
Roald Dahl's Man fromt he South, noded by Spuunbenda

Sraight-up shit-your-pants tales
bleeding house by SueZVudu
Hey, man, nice mask by TheDeadGuy
Things Are Different Now by LaggedyAnne
Alfred by Sverre
learning a language by SharQ
Midnight paralysis by TotalRetard
Forgetting by Lucy-S
vivisection by Lucy-S
Leaving the Warlock by Lucy-S
Out of Season by Lucy-S
The calls are coming from inside the house! by mr100percent
Fraternities are not clubs by Qeyser
The Strange Visitor by Ereneta
Darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming by Demeter
Have I been brainwashed? by weasello
Devil's Bridge by tallman
Blood transfusion by Lucy-S
cadaveric spasm by Lucy-S
Nature of the Beast by Lucy-S
eight-ball hemorrhage by Lucy-S
The Still-Life Drama of Passing Cars by Lucy-S
A Preference for Silence by Lucy-S
Science and the Undead: Frog Dissection at Highland Junior High by Jet-Poop
haunted painting by Celtus the Foetus
Tales of MYSTERY and the UNEXPLAINED by WolfDaddy
A Friend in the Dark by The Colonel
brother by ToasterLeavings
I will show you fear in a fistful of ducks by WonkoDSane
Sleepless in Sumatra by Eco