This is probably one of the first daylogs I'm writing
after the fact, that is, after the day is past and this new one
seems less important, for some reason..
I've thrown my
sleeping habits so far off that it's going to take a great deal of
effort to correct them, or even adjust them to slightly more reasonable patterns. With an earliest average
dreamland entrance being around 4am, and latest being 8am,
things,
time, just seem to be
passing too quickly. I miss a good deal of the morning, which I don't mind because I do see the sun come up the majority of the time, but I miss all the noise created by busy little human's scampering off to
dronedom. I can't help but think rather than avoiding them, I probably should be joining.. it's somewhat difficult to find a job here in this little town. "
Chicken Catchers" wanted, always, always.. the only job you can count on, but not one I'd ever be willing to take on.
I curled up in a chair and watched
Vh1 Storytellers tonight, solely because
R.E.M. were on.. mm, so infinitely dreamy. They did a couple of my favourite songs.. "
Fall On Me", "
At My Most Beautiful", "
Daysleeper". There is something about
Michael Stipe that I simply adore beyond all else, the way he looks when he closes his eyes and sings so softly, beautifully but, always aching, always.. I like the way he talks about
Andy Kaufman, just like I would.
Always, always.. you are
drifting through my thoughts and I hold you there because it makes me smile even though it might not were I to consider the
implications.
Tonight, as I watched the television and the moth finding refuge in its inviting glow, I found myself pondering why it is I don't just stop things that bother me. Just, stop them, it should be something I can do, at least from time to time, I think. I can't, though, I've realized that.. until someone stops it for me.
I am terrible when it comes to decision making.
So many
crossroads I should be coming to, or something, right? Tsk tsk..
they are all staring at me expectantly. What, what is it?
I forgot to remember to plan my life.
I don't want to, though, I never will.. it will all unfold as it wants to, when it wants to, not when I decide that it should. Nothing I've ever planned turned out well, it always..
ended. Perpetual happenings, I think that's what I'll always need, the world to show me what it wants me to do, never me telling it what to give,
where to bring me.
I'd never seen
R.E.M. perform "
At My Most Beautiful", until tonight.. I'll not forget it for some time, hopefully it will be with me always, always..