What do I do?
Why does this man hate me so much?
Why can't he act like a normal human being for a change?
My ex-husband and I have been divorced since April 28, 2004. We have two children together. He is supposed to get six weeks of visitation during the summer, in increments of no more than two weeks at a time. Standard visitation says he is to give me 60 days notice of when he wants them; in the divorce agreement I was nice, considering his military status, and only asked for 30 days.
2 months ago, I gave him a schedule which showed the dates I had blocked out for my vacation time with the kids, and asked him to fill in when he wanted the kids and return it to me. No response.
1 month ago I gave him another schedule with the same request. No response.
2 weeks ago I had my attorney write to his attorney reminding him of the fact that he needed to let me know when he wanted the kids. No response.
Friday at 4 pm his girlfriend called me to ask whether the kids could come to her roommate's daughter's birthday party. I told her no problem. She then informed me that Dave wanted to keep the kids for the weekend. I told her that I had no objection in principle, but that I needed him to let me know the schedule for him having the kids this summer first. I told her that he was welcome to call me and tell me the schedule while the kids were at the party, and if so, the kids could go to his house from there. She hemmed and hawed and fussed and didn't seem to get what I was saying, so finally I said "Look - if Dave calls me and tells me the schedule, then yes, but if he won't then no; no weekend visitation. If I really wanted to be a bitch I could hold him to the 30 days and not give him the kids til July 4th, but I don't; I just want to be able to plan for the summer." That didn't seem terribly unreasonable to me. I let the kids go with her to the party.
15 minutes later the phone rings and it's Dave. "Fuck you, I'm keeping the kids for the weekend." "Are you going to tell me when you want the kids this summer?" "fuck no" *click*
I called the sheriff's department and told them that he had taken the kids without permission. They told me there was nothing they could do about it since we have joint custody, but I have primary residential custody. I cried and cried from sheer frustration - I have papers saying when Dave can have the kids but do they mean anything? Apparently not.
Sunday (today) I was at Dave's house at 5 pm, since that is when his girlfriend had picked the kids up. I honked once. After about 10 minutes Dave slowly came walking down the driveway and checked his mailbox. He held up 6 fingers for 'six o'clock'. I shook my head and held up 5. He held up one - I think you guys can guess which - and wandered slowly over to his neighbor's house. I resigned myself to a long wait, since I certainly wasn't going to leave at that point, rolled the window down and started to read.
About 1/2 hour later I looked up and Dave was standing at the window of my car. He was holding the schedule I had sent him. He started yelling at me that this was his weekend, that my days didn't start til the ones I had blocked out, that I was a psycho bitch and a stupid fucking cunt. His spit actually sprayed my face, he was screaming so loud and so close. He kept on like this for awhile - I could see that his house doors and windows sere open, so I knew that my kids were hearing, if not the words, definitely the yelling. He finally stopped and moved away; I rolled the windows up, locked the doors and tried to go back to reading, shaking, trying to seem nonchalant and not to cry.
He paraded the kids across the street in front of me to go visit the neighbor, trying to taunt me and make me look like a psycho to his neighbors. I simply sat in the car and pretended to read. Finally he let the kids come to the car and go with me.
This is it - no more Ms. Nice Guy. Tomorrow I'm calling my lawyer and we're going to enforce the 30 days. Then I'm calling his First Sergeant and having a little chat about professionalism and a soldier's personal life. Then I'm going to go pick up my amendment to my taxes (because Dave claimed my kids without having any right to it), and I will watch with a smile on my face as he is anally raped by the IRS. And I will also call Social Services and let them know what happened.
I'm sure he hasn't come to the bottom of his bag of evil tricks - every time I think there's nothing he can do to me, he's done it all, he finds something new. But maybe, just for once, I can get some of my own back. A fleeting pleasure and a mean one, but beggars can't be choosers.