You heathens use water
in tea? Do you come from the countryside
or something? Everyone with any taste eats the leaves straight from the plant (not just any plant of course, but special Sri Lanka
n - or Ceylon
- black-leaf creeping hybrids, grown at 3000 feet above sea level by monks so disciplined that they never even blink
). You must stand up and sing the national anthem
before and after each cup... (A-HA! That was a test - no water remember?! Eat them off the tree!
). Any biscuits must be tested in a Ministry of Defence
approved wind tunnel.
However, a suitable alternative method for scu... people who watch ITV is as follows :
Standard Method :
Put water in kettle.
Locate a mug and a spoon.
Place teabag and sugar (optional) in mug.
Wait for kettle to boil.
Pour boiling water in mug.
Smoosh about a bit with spoon.
Throw away manky milk.
Steal or purchase fresh milk.
Remove teabag from mug. (Squeezing it if you must)
Throw spent bag in bin / sink / pile of festering plates.
Add milk to tea.
Drink, dunking digestive biscuits (for no longer than 1.8 seconds) as necessary.
For construction workers, lorry drivers :
Pour. (into a cup obviously)
Drink, pausing to whistle at passing "dollybirds".
I recommend PG Tips, at least over supermarket own brand.
(For the poncy sort of tea, locate an elderly relative and offer to listen their lengthy anecdotes. This also has the upside of being free. And you get a better class of biscuit as well.)