On certain Sundays in November
When the weather bothers me
I empty drawers of other summers
Where my shadows used to be .
.

Here I am again.

I am looking at the first day of Fall and the end of another summer.

Usually at this time of year I am equal parts grateful and relieved. This year, somehow feels different and I realize that the transition is not a smooth as I had hoped.

Since I was a child I have seen fall and the end of summer vacation as the real start of the year.

School starts, you restart and either start over (new school, new level) or continue with where you were. You (we?) get a new start and a new beginning or, at least you get another chance at where you were. If you were going back to the same school, the same friends, the same neighborhood, etc. You still get a fresh start, and that start is September.

Everyone is back in town, the drive-ins close up shop and weekends are spent raking leaves in your own backyard, instead of leaving on Friday. No more taking the boat to the beach, or ..the lake or .. wherever.

To me it is a return to Schedule, to normalcy. We are all (child and adult) back to it.

The fact that the accumulations of years brings more nostalgia to this particular year is just another part of the adjustment.

In the next two months, gradually and all of a sudden, I will move from sneakers, t shirts and shorts to jeans, sweatshirts and boots.

It's that time of year.
It's that time of life.



I put my summer back in a letter, and I
hide it from the world
All the regrets you can't forget
Are somehow pressed upon a picture,
In the face of such
an ordinary girl

Hard Candy -Counting Crows