I'm so pissed off!!!Went to get some special shoes at a special store today. Ended up with some ordered and one pair - that fucking killed my fucking feet when I stood on concrete for a few hours at a concert tonite. I'm still angry about it. Now I will have to go back and get measured again. I'm actually very pissed. The woman had degrees and shit all over her wall, was very sweet, blah blah blah - but the shoes are too fucking small! Then she took the time and trouble to go with me to another store and helped me pick out some running shoes that would work. I think these are wrong now too.
I tried wearing them again the next morning, with stockings. They will do I guess - but they aren't really quite right. I know she did the best she could, and it's up to me cause she's not wearing them. But I felt pressured to be a good girl and make her happy. How fucking moronic can I get? What's up with that? I guess I felt guilty for making her work on a Saturday. Stupid, I know.
Went to a concert tonight - it was good. TMBG. Got in free. Drove for my drunk friends celebrating an anniversary. I felt as lonely as I ever have. Despair and sorrow welled up during the show. It wasn't anybody's fault. I missed M. and was glad he wasn't there at the same time I wished he was there. I also wished he was younger and thinner too. I wish that a lot.
I've been feeling very alone since Thursday.