Quick and Dirty WU

Leaving work early to take my son to his first hip hop concert. He's seen some free stuff, but never bands he loves. He asked if he could bring a friend - of course. So this is going to cost me $35 - ouch! But Incubus will be playing, and I love them - and Moby will be playing - they're pretty good - and I might end up liking Outkast and Roots, which was the first one on his list. Yes, I made him write me a list of his fave bands just for this reason. I thought - hmmmmm. I've taken my nieces and nephews and my other kids to shows - but never this son. What's up with that?

So I'm pretty excited about it, hopefully there will be some cheap beer available so I can sneak off and have a smoke or two....I went on a date recently with some one cute and it was fun, although I was feeling inordinately shy around her. I had fun. The fact that I was so nervous and shy brought the realization that I don't really know how to do life as an integrated, whole person. I forget that sometimes, think I'm okay, and everything is just fine, then something like this pops up and I realize how far I really have to go before I am whole. I am so good at faking it that I just forget that's what I'm doing.

A good reminder. So we chatted, I'm relaxed about the whole thing now (being nervous for the entire date, that is) and have let it go, and next time we see each other, I anticipate we will both be more carefree and easy. I'll just be myself, and she'll be herself, and who knows? Maybe we'll be able to share some laughs and some confidences and begin to be friends. That would be so cool. I would love that. And I don't have to worry about anything further than that, if it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't. Period.

I just told a woman I went on a date with (a few weeks back) that I wasn't interested in casual sex with her - that I realized it wasn't the right thing for me at this time; that I would prefer friendship. But if she wasn't interested, that was okay. She called today and said essentially that I was silly, she'd much rather be friends, that was way more important! And of course, she's absolutely right. Duh!