So it's true - their heinous plot to replace all decent music with astro surf waves comes one step closer! As earthling ears become accustomed to the other worldly sounds of Man Or Astroman? the high pitched intergalactic squeakings of Starcrunch are lowered almost subliminally into the human aural range. Before we know it there'll be no more surf instrumentals but songs, songs, songs and more trashy songs. Steve Albini meddled in this affair from outer space and there are Rapeman samples lurking around so what further proof is needed of some catastrophic conspiracy? Of course the plot may not yet have reached fruition. There's evidence on Lo Batt of how the wiles of earth women have mystified and befuddled Man Or Astroman?

"I think she can manipulate time," sings a desperately confused Starcrunch in a most illogical situation.

It's been a long time out there in outer space but even that can't explain the husky whispering on Junk Satellite. So will MOA? be defeated in a sex war or are these beings really made from impervious technetium from which mini astro-orchestras can be cloned? That's what they'd like us gullible earthlings to think.

Could it just be a cheap tin foil hoax? There's clear evidence on Breathing Iron Oxide that the science and technology of MOA? may not be as invincible as it seems. "Hey, a malfunction," wails Starcrunch as another astro device fails. Then Muzak For Cybernetics borrows from the earth band Rapeman (or was Albini really from Uranus?) and the final defeat of the fiendish MOA? sound weapon is related in secret code on the hilarious Sound Waves Reversing.

"Why has the music stopped?" demands a confused denizen of the outer space community (perhaps Birdstuff).

"I don't understand. Look at the metre - the sound waves are reversing," replies his subordinate (Coco?).

"No!" screams the frustrated invader as the astral surf rays run backwards and are jettisoned into outer space where of course MOA? are plotting, researching the Theoretical Sounds Of Slow Motion to combat this planet's gravity with the power of simulated slow motion movements. The planet may be safe for a while but they'll be back so keep listening to the skies for those surfing saucers.

http://www.webinfo.co.uk/crackedmachine/astroman.htm