Is your teenager concerned about inequality and pollution? Call a drug counselor. (idea)

I'll be honest. I doubted this story from the time I first laid yghes on it. Of course, being the sometimes obsessive fact-checker that I am, I found Professor Gerald Smith's e-mail and asked for the free pamphlet, which I received promptly through the post. So now I am the proud owner of a very thick, glossy, high-class booklet entitled '(How Parents Can Help Children Live) Marijuana Free'

Here's the part of the pamphlet that has the offending phrase; I'll post as much as I can to provide context so that you may judge for yourself.

...There are four warning signs: (a) medical symptoms, (b) behavioral signs, (c) social signs, and (d) circumstantial evidence. Taken alone, any one of these signs may not mean much, but if your child exhibits several of these, you have good reason to suspect marijuana use.

Medical Symptoms Of Regular Users

• Appears lazy
• Chronic, hacking cough - like a heavy tobacco smoker's
• Frequent colds
• Chronic fatigue
• Weight loss
• Chronic sore throat
• Disturbed menstrual cycles
• Dry mouth
• Eyes sensitive to light - users may have "squinty" appearance
• Red eyes
• Frequent headaches
• Impaired coordination caused by a distorted sense of time
• Numbness of the throat, mouth, and tongue in heavy users
• Moves and speaks in slow motion (like a "zombie")

(text about Visine use of users, and instruction on cop-style follow-the-pencil tests follows... omitted by the noder - inconsequential)

Behavioral Signs of Regular Users

• Abrupt mood changes for no apparent reason
• Antagonistic to all authority
• Belligerent
• Depressed
• Evasive
• Excessively private
• Lack of motivation to do much of anything, especially anything physical (This is not normal in teenagers.)
• Lying
• Marked decrease in personal hygiene (This is not normal in teenagers.)
• Memory loss
• Problems at school, talk of dropping out
• Sneaky
• Sudden, precipitous loss in grades
• Sudden loss of previous interests, especially sports
• Sullen
• Very sloppy or extreme dress and grooming (Boys tend to have long and/or unkempt hair. Girls may wear extreme and/or revealing clothing. Both may sport sunglasses to hide red eyes).

Social Signs Of Regular Users

• Avoids the family while at home
• Interest in Ras Tafari religion (Marijuana use is part of that religion.)
• Extreme rebelliousness à la James Dean in "Rebel Without A Cause"
• Excessive preoccupation with social causes, race relations, environmental issues, etc.
• Frequent, lengthy, or unexplained absences
• Runs away or threatens to
• Serious sibling conflicts
• Stays out all night or comes in at abnormally late hours
• Camp-outs and stay-overs (to distance themselves from parents)
• Unacceptable new friends or refusal to bring new friends home
• Unexplained or poorly explained need for money. (Money or valuables may "disappear" from around the house, offers lame excuses when confronted.)
• Vocabulary is full of drug culture slang (see the Appendix, page 56)