Let 'er Down Easy


Garland Grey

A woman is lying in bed and a man is seated on the bed next to her, lost in thought. He stands up from the bed.

MAN: I know it is the wrong time for this, but I have to say it. I feel trapped.

(His voice is high and squeaky, and you feel as if she has been brutalizing and emasculating him for years. She tries to sit up, and he puts his hand out to stifle any objections she might have.)

MAN: No, it isn't anything you did, you have been the best girlfriend I've ever had. You were so supportive, so constantly there for me at all times. (His voice raises.) But I need to go. For me.

(She wears a mixture of emotions. It is all so sudden. She is angry, hurt, confused. She is literally speechless. He begins to pace.)

MAN: I know this seems sudden, but it has been building for a long time. I think we both know it. I know you were thinking about getting married one day, but that is simply out of the question.

WOMAN: (Sitting up, and shouting) What in the fuck!?

MAN: Jill, keep your voice down, I'm just...

(A nurse enters and begins to pantomime checking phantom machines and tubes near where the woman is lying. She clearly came into the room to eavesdrop)

WOMAN: I will not keep my voice down you goddamn cocksucker! I can't believe that you would do this to me, here.

MAN: Jill, you arn't being fair. I have made every effort to make this work.

WOMAN: You wanna talk about fair? You make me come down here, pay for my own abortion, because (in a mocking imitation of his voice) "Baby I hate condoms, they feel like shit, I just want to feel me inside you" and now you want to talk about fair? Fuck you!

MAN: I can't talk to you when you are like this.

(She snakes out a hand and slaps him, and the nurse has to restrain her from attacking him any more. He exits the stage, and she lets out a scream after him.)