Ever get so
frustrated with money that you begin to wonder whether you're paying for the air you
breathe? This morning all I could afford was five bucks worth, so I'm holding my breath that the next few weeks work out as planned. Let's
cross our fingers that I can get (and keep)
my shit together.
Five bucks, five bucks...resisted the urge to get a caramel frappuccino from Starfucks (Yuppie beverages don't really count as coffee, IMHO) once I got downtown, though, I knew the caffeine would not only wake me up since my body thinks I'm insane for being up and about so early, but it would also get rid of the headache that's been plaguing me on and off since yesterday. I imagine that and my lack of energy stems from the fact that I've barely consumed enough calories to even feed Kate Moss over the past week or so. Today I get to fill the tank up..doing lunch with Danny who is cashing my last Xmas gift cash-out check from my family (was supposed to go towards a loft bed). For once my procrastination worked out to my benefit. Wonder if he'll be up for cheap sushi? (Update: Err..No, he says...so Thai it is). (Update to the update: We're doing lunch tomorrow since he's got a conference call at 2:30 and doesn't want to risk being late, and doesn't want to rush lunch with me. I'm heading down to do a quick exchange and we'll lunch tomorrow).
Met up with Obi, 10 minutes late. He was sporting a short hair cut, looked cute (and unrecognizable) in a red helmet parked on a spiffy little red moped which I didn't even know he owned. Apparently, he didn't have the keys to get in to show me one of the dogs I was going to help him walk, and the other they didn't take care of today, so I crawled out of bed early for nothing. Well, not entirely true. I'm up and about, and can accomplish lots in normal people hours. I'm probably going to crash at his place tonight to get the tour of the doggies early on tomorrow, since I *know* I'm incapable of making it anywhere at 9AM unless I've been up all night, and I won't survive to even see the sunrise tonight..err..in the morning. Trekked back to the subway, spent a buck on 2 oranges and the old man flirted with me while giving me my change from his wad. I was cute, I must admit..sporting the black dress that has become my uniform, and black cowboy boots with white stitching that my aunt donated to my eclectic fashion cause. Neat looking, yes. Comfy, yeah, until I was crawling back to my house feeling like I was walking on glass after only an hour out. They're well broken in, but my aunt's feet are narrower than mine. Mostly tight around the toes, but perhaps these boots and I can become friends.
Four bucks, three of which get spent adding money to my Metrocard when the machine laughed at my attempt to pay with an ATM card. Well, it worked the other day, much to my pleasant surprise considering I haven't put any money into the bank in a long time. I'm afraid to check the balance at this point.
My last dollar went to two guys that were giving out food out on the train to hungry people. Their speech was one of the absolute best I've heard, and while everyone else stared ahead, eyes glazed in that cool cityfolk way, a smile grew on my face. There were the normal elements about how you don't have to be homeless to be hungry, a point I now understand. I fingered the dollar in my bag, thought about karma, as always...but I was sold when he talked about how he and his brother had been homeless 12 years ago and that's why they were doing this, and they were also inspired because they had found God and they truly believed and felt inspired by their faith. The non-denominational religious speech that followed cut to the heart of the matter, though, and lifted my heart. One of the men talked about how if people truly believed in God, they wouldn't look down upon the needy. He'd seen homeless people kicked and abused on the ground that they sleep on. We were sitting in the very seats he used to call a bed. People of God would not look down on those who didn't have material possessions. Those who truly believed in God would love their fellow man, above all else.
His speech was much more influential and moving than I'm capable of relating to you right now, but with all the preaching on the meaning of love I gave my roommate yesterday, my heart was open and my dollar was his.
The day goes on, my toenails are now painted a sparkly green, and I have just enough time to get this noded and head back downtown. Have to start boxing up the stuff in my room yet again. This comes at a time when I'm evaluating which of my collection is really important to me. In a glance I can't bear to part with any of it, but it weighs me down. I've always admired people who travel light, and I wonder whether I'll be able to part with any of it. Everything I own has a story and oftentimes a person behind it. The memories will still be there, but I wonder if my cheesebrain will be able to bring those out of storage if there's no physical reminder. I want my own place sometime within the next year and my "stuff" will fill it just nicely. Will my desire to be a minimalist win? And is it really even neccessary? Time will tell.
And as my wind-up smiley face clock ticks away, it tells me time is something I shouldn't take for granted right now. I journey on...
An aside, I made level 4 yesterday. w00t!