WARNING: If you do not like reading about or visualizing me (a petite 18 year-old girl) taking a crap, DO NOT READ THIS!

Curse Wal-mart! There I was, standing in the checkout lane with my mom. I was about to buy some paint for my new computer when it hit me. No, not the solution to all of life's problems, but a big, red ball. It struck the back of my head, and so I turned around. My wicked, little sister. She said she was going to go the electronics department to look for a new gameboy game. I nodded in approval and she left. I stood there glancing at the latest Enquirer when my stomach started growling. I recognized the growl, I detest that growl. I knew I shouldn't have drunk orange juice earlier. I know that I have at least one minute after that specific growl in which I should get to a restroom. Failure to reach a restroom in time, would result in a test of my strength to hold things in.

me: "MOM, I reallY, reaLLY, REALLY have to go to the restroom."
mom: "They're all the way in the back...pick up your sister at electronics, and then meet me in the car."

Time was running out. I handed my mom the paint, reached into my pocket, after 20 seconds managed to take the money out of the damn fifth pocket, and walked in the direction of the restrooms. I thought about running, but figured it would be too dangerous. My minute soon ran out. I had to stop after every 12 steps or so and just stand still. I picked up my pace and finally reached the door to the lady’s room. I walked in and tried all the doors. Occupied. Just as I finished checking the last stall, the first stall's door poped open. I ran to it and nearly knocked down the old lady coming out. I unzipped my pants and sat down. Just then I heard many voices. I looked out through the gap of the door and the wall and noticed a little girl standing with her grandma. I looked out the other gap and noticed 2 teenage girls. Damn my luck! So many people waiting to use the bathroom. I held it in some more. I looked at the little girl twisting her feet around. How could I do this to her? The smell alone can kill. Let it out fast and flush! NO. Let it out slowly, so you won't make any noise. I couldn't make up my mind. I let out like 2 ounces and smelled it instantly. I stopped. I couldn’t go through it. I wiped, zipped up, and flushed. I stood there in the stall telling myself to hold it until we drove to the office. I walked out of the stall. The little girl smiled and ran in. Sure, pee now, but if I let this go while I’m walking, I hope YOU step on it. I walked to the electronics section and told my sister we were leaving.

Mom: IRS should by acknowledging all the returns we did in an hour or so. Tomorrow you're gunna come to work with me early to print checks.
Me: Okay. DRIVE!

We get to the office and I run to the restroom. About 7 feet from it, I realized running wasn’t a good idea. I wobble the rest of the way…

I DID NOT SHIT MY PANTS!!