bangiomorpha pubescens (thing)
Return to bangiomorpha pubescens (thing)
Scientific name for the first sexually reproducing lifeform to evolve. The actual reason the little critters are so named is their resemblence to pubic hair and modern red alga. Their fossils show a "clear eukaryote," similar to fossilized red alga. Recently discovered in 1.2 billion year old Canadian rocks, these are the oldest reported complex multicellular fossils ever found.
Currently, there is no common name for bangiomorpha pubescens, so I am going to call them bangios until the scientific community derives a better name. (Slant-rhymes with Cheerios) /msg me if you are aware of a common name.
In fact, little is known about bangios except that they had a male gender and female gender. Females had large spores, and males had small spores. Essentially highly mobile plants, bangios had to come together in order to survive. Supposedly, this was the first sexual attraction, as well as the first cooperation among life forms.
Then, one day, 1.2 billion years after the first sexual encounter, Saturn devoured his child.
If you don't understand "Saturn devouring his child" pipelinked with Marvin Gaye: Saturn, or Kronos (thanks to machfive for the Greek alternative) killed and ate his own children; Marvin Gaye was shot and killed by his own father. Ok, thanks, just wanted to clear that up.