INTERNATIONAL ORDER OF COLUMBIFORM PASSERINES. Pigeons, as they are more commonly known, are the largest and most militant avian dinosaur syndicate, responsible for patrolling the world’s cities and other areas of human concentration. As such, they have final authority in matters regarding the management of human populations. With the dual mission of surveillance and food extraction, they serve as the first line of detection of potentially dangerous levels of human advancement (or, as is now thought slightly more probable, collapse).
Pigeons are extremely efficient and ruthless dictators. It is only their ongoing territorial feud with the squirrels which has thus far spared humanity the full force of their wrath.
—Encyclopedia Blipvertica.