I wonder if I should take your writeup seriously. Anyway, let's us give you the benefit of doubt, and suppose that it was a joke.
On second thought, maybe some observations would be useful as a Guide to the Confused:
- I don't know where you have been in Mexico, but let me assure you that in Mexico City toilet paper is plentiful, sold in handy 24 roll packages at your local mall or supermarket.
- Indeed Mexicans everywhere eat a lot of hot stuff. Strangely enough, though, they give a higher priority to taste than to pain.
- the sombrero you are talking about is probably the sombrero de charro which is about as common here as, uh, a Stetson in the US: that's to say, very frequent in some places, very very rare in others.
- Chili con carne, just like the burrito, the taco shell, the spaghetti bolognese and the fettuccine Alfredo is a US invention, and I say this with a certain amount of satisfaction.
- A lot of foreigners enjoy the unspeakably exotic black beans, this most strange of pulses.
This sentence, "For some reason, I felt I was hard pressed to find much that was Mexican in Mexico", is ... priceless. It should be made into an Everything Quote.
Verily, an innocent abroad.