So I saw the shrink on Monday.
New drugs:
- Bupropion SR (aka Wellbutrin) 150mg 2x/day
- Citalopram (aka Celexa) 40mg 2x/day
- Gabapentin (aka Neurontin) 300mg 3x/day
- Increased dose of alprazolam (aka Xanax) 1mg 3x/day
These, along with what I'm already prescribed (Lunesta, Seroquel and Tramadol (for my back)), makes seven drugs, four of which I have to take three times a day, assuming I remember to do so. I hope they can cure whatever it is that's making me mentally and physically ill.
The bupropion and the citalopram are replacing my daily dose (40mg) of Lexapro. The bupropion, combined with the citalopram, also replaces my previous daily dose (60mg) of Adderall. Hopefully this will solve my recent concentration problems. And I should hear from my PCP about whatever the cause of my back pain is sometime this week.
The only non-generics I'm taking now are Lunesta and Seroquel.
It seems I do have all the symptoms of fibromyalgia, but I have to wait two and a half months to find out of if I've got it, because the diagnosis of fibro can be made only after three months of continuous, non-stop symptoms.
Summer ends in six days. Fucking finally. It's been a rough season for me. There was the brown recluse bite in April (not really summer, but close enough when you live on the gulf coast of Louisiana), the lumbar strain in June, the bacterial stomach infection in July, and the beginnings of severe lower back pain that started in late August, which is still with me. All this has caused much strife at my job, due to the various (worse than normal for an ADD punter) concentration problems, and I've been told that if I fuck up one more time, I'll get the boot. (Despite working here, at the night shift no less, since August 2000... so much for seniority, eh?)
I may or may not have mentioned this before (and I can't be arsed to check), but I broke three teeth while I was sleepwalking in July. None of the teeth broke completely, so I'm left with half-teeth, two of which are pretty fucking sharp, so sharp that I'm continually (accidentally) bite my inner lips and tongue hard enough that they bleed. I had a dentist consultation shortly after the teeth-breaking episode occured, and she said I needed root canals on all three teeth. The grand total for such an endevour? $4,500. The maximum amount my retarded insurance provider will cover per year for dental? $1,000. So, I'm pretty much screwed in that respect.
The worst part of it is that I won't be able to kiss anyone without the lingering possibility that I would cut their lips or tongue with my stupidly circumstantial vampire fangs. It also means no more performing cunnilingus for me, for the same reason (minus her tongue). It's not like I'm with anybody now (as if), but I worry about the future. Based on past experiences, I'm not too good at dating because I'm too neurotic, or, at least as neurotic as whoever I'm dating (or more neurotic, for that matter). And if I didn't have all these drugs to keep me sane, I'd have probably slit my wrists years ago, or at the very least, I wouldn't be suicidal, as such, though I'd be extremely unhappy and unlikely motivated enough to change my life for the better.
Hopeless, really.